Who Shot Who In The What Now?  Indiana (3-7, 1-5) at Penn State (9-1, 5-1, sniffle).  Noon kickoff at Beaver Stadium.

Kicking Television:  YOU ARE LOOKING LIVE AT...the Big Ten Network?  Wayne Larrivee, Charles Davis, and Charissa Thompson bring you the words.  There is apparently a dispute as to which of the two Charissa Thompsons actually works for the BTN.  If you're doing a Google image search, think cute, not whorish.  Sorry to hurt your feelings.

Weather:  Shitty!  100% chance of rain, as of this writing.

The Magic Bus:  If you're one of the thousands of people who cheer the team on their way into the stadium, you may have noticed that the football team has new blue school buses this season.  If you have $1,800 burning a hole in your pocket (and who doesn't, these days?), now you can own one of the old buses. 

It's a 1980 Ford with 105,173 miles.  On a weird note, the eBay listing promises to remove the "Pennsylvania State University" vinyl lettering from the side of the bus prior to the buyer taking possession.  Why?  Won't the winner immediately put the lettering back on?

So, let's assume you are the winning bidder.  What do you do with the bus? 

Can we just admit that everybody sucks?  I have to agree with the vast majority of this, in that there appear to be so few quality teams in practically all of the major conferences.  Honestly, where are all of the great teams this season, besides the lower plains?

Lest We Forget:  Indiana was the underdog story last season. 

Dubious Statistical Achievements:  The Hoosiers rank 90th or higher in rushing defense (#93), pass efficiency defense (#100), total defense (#100), and scoring defense (#101).  Oh, and sacks allowed (#100).  There are 119 Football Bowl Subdivision teams.

Smoke Signals From Enemy Territory:  Here's the fun you're missing by being a fan of a coaching staff with more long-term stability than granite.  After guiding Indiana to a bowl game since 1993 -- Indiana! -- one year ago, in the aftermath of the death of their head coach, Hoosier fans are bringing "Fire Bill Lynch" signs to home games.  Nice.

Pickin' On The Big Ten:  "What are the [TEAM REDACTED] chances in this game? About the same as the fire hydrant's chance against the dog."  Who could that possibly be (small hint, not Indiana).  He also sees big things for your Nittany Lions.  My prediction?  Pain, naturally.