I Hate Michigan State

It's hate week again, people. The Spartans are coming to Happy Valley feeling pretty good about themselves. They think they have a chance to win the Big Ten championship. They see a Penn State team that only scored 13 points in Columbus, lost to Iowa, only led Indiana by three points at halftime and they think we are ripe for the taking. They think they are going to walk into Beaver Stadium and put a smackdown on Penn State. Are you feeling the hate with me?.

I know some of you are saying, "But Mike, we have no reason to hate Michigan State. What did they ever do to us?" To those people I ask: How can you not hate Michigan State? How can you not hate a school that would give an honorary degree to this guy? Am I the only one that remembers them planting their flag in South Bend in a completely classless display? Am I the only one who hates those stupid green jerseys that say Michigan State on them as if I need to be reminded which shithole state they came from? When you turn on the television and see our Blue and White jerseys you know right away who's playing. We don't have to put Penn State on the chest. That's because we are a college football American icon. You aren't even the best team in your own crappy state.

 

Did I mention I hate the entire state of Michigan too? That's why I drive Japanese cars. I pray to God every night that Congress will deny the bailout for the auto industry so the entire state of Michigan can rust to a halt and die. Maybe we can sell them to Canada for a dollar. Or maybe we can pay Canada a dollar to take them off our hands. Either way I kind of feel bad for screwing Canada like that.

And am I the only one that remembers this?

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That's Michigan State coach Mark Dantonio enjoying a gatoraide bath while Joe Paterno patiently wandered around midfield waiting to shake his hand last year. Because of that game we ended up going to the stupid Alamo Bowl where we got to put a beatdown on Texas A&M. As bowl games go that's about as sexy as Madeleine Albright in a garter belt and high heels. Sparty denied us a better bowl game, probably the Outback Bowl, and the results hurt the entire conference.

Instead of going to the Outback Bowl for a rematch against a Tennessee team we beat down the year before, Wisconsin got to go and lost 17-21. I can still hear those friggin' hillbillies yelling OMG ESSS EEEE SEEE SPEEED WHOOOOO BIG TEN SUX.  And of course Sparty got to go to the Champs Sports Bowl which was way out of their league. Way to lose to Boston College. A friggin' ACC team. Way to bring back a little pride for the conference. You suck. You should have gone to the Motor City Bowl where you belonged. Keep the filth in Michigan I say. So you can blame Ohio State for the anti-Big Ten hate in the media this year, but Michigan State needs to be held responsible as well.

And of course it wouldn't be Michigan State hate week if we didn't mention the dumbest trophy ever known to man.

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Yes, that's Chris Baker. Watch your tone or he will beat you over the head with it.

Just another example of the kind of crap that comes out of Michigan. I'm rather glad it has rested in East Lansing this past year. Go ahead and keep it along with the homeless guy living inside it. There's only one trophy we care about this week.

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