Charlie Weis Firing Pool

It would be entertaining to elaborate a little bit like I did on how the scenario will be played out. The more outlandish the better of course.

He be in the office & a moving crew will show up. Actually, now that I think about it … they will probably have a second moving crew for his stuff, too.

That would be a small bonus for my 21st birthday

A few days after ND goes 6-7.

After the Irish open with a victory, they drop 4 straight, including a tough home loss to the Mike Leach led Washington Huskies. With the bye week up next, the Padres decided they had enough of Weis and his inability to coach kids with a lot of *’s after there name…

My guess is that he’ll have won just enough games next season to hang on. We’ll put that number at 8. Yes that’s optimistic, but they do have the athletes to beat teams based purely on talent. I see them winning 8, getting dismantled in a bowl game, and coming into the 2010 season with BCS dreams.

Charlie will lead them to 9 wins, and he will get his BCS bid. He will again, be completely dismantled.

2011 – 6 wins. December 03, 2011 (exactly 3 years from today) Fat Charlie is finally put out of his misery.

Sept. 5 NEVADA (Win)
Sept. 12 at Michigan (Win – Poor RichRod)
Sept. 19 MICHIGAN STATE (Loss)
Sept. 26 at Purdue (Loss – This will feel like a big win for Danny Hope)
Oct. 3 WASHINGTON (Win – But only because the Huskies miss a last second field goal)
Oct. 17 USC (Auto-loss)
Oct. 24 BOSTON COLLEGE (Close loss)
Oct. 31 vs. Washington State (at San Antonio, Texas) (Loss)

After originally planning on waiting to see if Weis could fight it out for a bowl bid, Notre Dame decides enough is enough after a blowout loss to a truly bad Wazzu team. So, November 2nd, 2009 will be the end of one of Notre Dame football’s most glorious errorsas.

Oh wait. Too late.

Then he’ll binge eat by swallowing an Irish child whole.

It hurts to lose to BC too much.

After an 0-5 start, punctuated by an OT loss to Washington at home, Weis is let loose. The university decides to bring in another big name alum to replace him. For the USC game, the team bursts out in the green(y) unis…with Mike Golic as head coach (see what I did there? Greeny! SO WITTY).

They immediately lose 56-2, with their only points coming on a play which USC’s 4th string QB runs backward 59 yards, into his own end zone. Petey drives the point home by burning a cross at midfield during warmups and throwing Stars of David into the stands.

After leading his team to 32 consecutive losing seasons (including a run of 20 winless seasons, and a move into Division 1-AA) “Charlie the Chococlate Factory” (a nickname given to him after a game against PSU where he does his best JoePa @ OSU 2006 impersonation, yet fails to make it off the field in time) finally decides to step down.

People still look back fondly to 60 years prior, what were the “glory days” of Notre Dame football, and compare them to the other greats who have fallen so low: the Princetons and Yales and Lehighs. Notre Dame fans try to bring up their superior academic standards as a reason for their athletic decline, but unfortunately after they lost all their free advertising that came with their good football program, everyone realized that they really don’t want to go to school in Indiana, and the academic standards fell as well.

If Charlie “the Chocolate Factory” is to remembered for 3 things, they will be his chocolate producing moment, his failure at losing weight even after gastric bypass surgury (hey kids, take the easy way out!), and the time he spared the lives of 9 children while rationing himself and only devouring one