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Coastal Carolina Preview: This Internet Will Ruin Your Life

"I don't read blogs.  I don't have time for blogs.  I don't have time for that stuff...I'll talk to you on the phone.  I'll talk to you in person.  I don't care to talk to nobody on the internet.  Better watch out, that internet will ruin your life." -- Coastal Carolina Head Coach David Bennett

Who Shot Who In The What, Now?  Coastal Carolina (0-0) at Penn State (0-0).  Some quick math and shallow logic indicates that this is the first game of the season for both teams.  Kickoff is at 12:00 p.m. at Beaver Stadium.

Who Are These Friggin' Guys?  The Coastal Carolina Chanticleers, 5-6 last season.  That losing season followed a very good stretch of football for the Chants -- from 2004 to 2006, they were 28-6 and made the 1-AA playoffs once. So they're a new program, but a very successful one.  Their coach is David Bennett, who based on this unbelievably entertaining audio press conference, should immediately be considered for Penn State's head coach position when it becomes vacant in fifteen years.

"Anybody says anything negative about Paterno, they're an idiot."  -- David Bennett

Where Can I See It?  Big Ten Network.  Use this handy tool to find out what channel it'll be on.  And don't forget to stop by Black Shoe Diaries throughout the game.  We'll be hosting a game thread for your ongoing commentary about the greatest new offense since the first forward pass.

Weather:  Mildly promising.  National Weather Service says 80 degrees, 20% chance of rain before noon and light wind.  Accuweather is equally vague, predicting partly sunny and 78 degrees, with a thunderstorm around.

"One of our players, one of them Einsteins that look at figures and stuff, came in my office a week ago and he said, 'Coach, we're going to play in front of more people in this game than we did all last season, all eleven combined.  And I said, 'Wow, that's pretty good.'"  -- David Bennett

While You Wait:  Future Penn State opponents take the field tonight and tomorrow night.  Oregon State plays at Stanford tonight (9 p.m., ESPN2).  Temple opens the season against Army on Friday night (7 p.m., ESPN Classic).

What Will We Learn?  Next to nothing, but there are a few things to look for.  Crispness on offense and special teams.  Coaches getting the plays to the huddle on time.  Daryll Clark's comfort in the pocket.  But let's not kid ourselves, a forty-point victory over Coastal Carolina isn't going to make next week's game against Oregon State any less stressful.  I'm actually more interested in tonight's OSU-Stanford game than the impending PSU-Coastal slaughter.

What Are The Chances Of A Penn State Victory?  99.5%.  For those of you worried about Coastal Carolina being another Appalachian State, here's one last quote from Coastal's fearless comedic leader.

"You talk about David vs. Goliath. Everybody's talking about, 'well App beat Michigan last year.'  App had more speed than Michigan.  App was in better shape than Michigan.  Their quarterback ran 4.3.  Our quarterback don't run 4.3." -- David Bennett

And seriously, listen to that Bennett press conference.  Not only is he wildly entertaining, he's brutally honest about his team's goals and provides excellent perspective on Joe Paterno and exactly what we have here at Penn State.

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I just hope

His team didn’t listen to that, it would be nice if they actually tried. But he is a funny guy.

I don't know, Mello Yello is pretty awful. What's the worst that could happen?

by psu on Aug 28, 2008 1:08 PM EDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

oh man,

the part where he’s quizing the room about how many starters we have on each side of teh ball…it’s killing me.

by Kevin HD on Aug 28, 2008 1:14 PM EDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

“people on my staff, they wasn’t even an ider [no, not a typo], when Paterno started coaching.”

by Kevin HD on Aug 28, 2008 1:15 PM EDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I know...

I’m slightly upset I’m already 1/2 way through…That’s looks like Joe Paterno “I AM, SIT DOWN.”

and this wasn’t what I pictured what I heard him….

http://www.goccusports.com/football/?coach=296

by Screen Name 20 on Aug 28, 2008 1:27 PM EDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

He has joined Mike Gundy on my “All Time College Football Press Conference” team.

by Tailgate Shogun on Aug 28, 2008 1:37 PM EDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Brilliant

Entertaining is an understatement.

Peter

by psuboy on Aug 28, 2008 1:47 PM EDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

WOW

He makes PSU sound like a God. Do you think he is just playing it up?

by jetskijoe on Aug 28, 2008 2:07 PM EDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I love this guy.

At the very least, I want him as a position coach at Penn State in 2009.

by Run Up The Score on Aug 28, 2008 2:13 PM EDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Their stadium seats 6,400 vs 110,000 at the Beav

Our stadium is 17x bigger than theirs. JoePa has been on the coaching staff since before their school was even established. The next biggest-name team on their schedule is Colgate.
So yes, I would say this is a pretty big deal for them.

I bleed Blue and White.

by Horse N Buggy on Aug 28, 2008 2:18 PM EDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Wow, our student section is nearly four times bigger than their entire stadium. Really puts things in perspective.

by Tailgate Shogun on Aug 28, 2008 5:35 PM EDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I was there

in February

Blogging about D.C. Baseball since April '04. Penn State alum. Also partial to the Washington Capitals, New York Yankees and Yale football.

by WFY on Aug 29, 2008 3:02 PM EDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Handy tool

I never knew that existed before. That thing rocks. Maybe now people will stop asking me what channel they can watch the game on.

What am I?
A TV Guide?

by BSD on Aug 28, 2008 2:35 PM EDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Ladies and Gentlemen

We have a new blog motto at the top.

by BSD on Aug 28, 2008 2:40 PM EDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

nah

Admit it, most of us never had lives to start with.

I don't know, Mello Yello is pretty awful. What's the worst that could happen?

by psu on Aug 28, 2008 3:15 PM EDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

It's great, but...

We’ll need that “website mob” back after the first loss. That stuff is gold.

by Run Up The Score on Aug 28, 2008 2:53 PM EDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Absolutely

Any time Joe mentions the website mob we’ll drag that one out of the closet.

by BSD on Aug 28, 2008 3:10 PM EDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Good For Coastal !!!!!!!!!!

This is EXACTLY the type of game a school like Coastal needs to schedule each year. Sure the final score is going to be something like 54-6 but that is not what is important. This game helps them with recruiting and general exposure. How many of you had actually ever heard of this school before?

Coastal understands that if they want national exposure this thrashing is the price they must pay. Hats off to them. I hope they win their conference this season.

Reg4

by Regulator4 on Aug 28, 2008 6:33 PM EDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

But the Coach has a blog!

Funny thing—he doesn’t read blogs. But he has one of his own:

CoachDavid Bennett.com

by 50Yard-Lion on Aug 28, 2008 7:54 PM EDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

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