"Is the glass half-full or half-empty? It depends on whether you're pouring or drinking." -- Bill Cosby "He who throws mud only loses ground." -- Fat Albert
Who Shot Who In The What, Now?: Temple (1-2) at Penn State (3-0). Kickoff at Beaver Stadium is 12:00 p.m. Or, given the legal action yesterday, "high noon."
Kicking Television: The Big Ten Network brings you the action. Mark Neely, Glen Freakin' Mason, and Kenny Jackson will probably say various things to annoy you.
A Fool And His Money: The Nittany Lions are 28.5 point favorites.
Dubious Statistical Achievements: Funny thing about this game. Penn State is playing an opponent which, after three games, has only trailed for one minute and forty-nine seconds this season. And they're 1-2. Those of you who regularly visited Run Up The Score will know that when it comes to a future head coach at Penn State*, I'm an Al Golden guy. And with Greg Schiano looking absolutely helpless as Rutgers laid consecutive, nationally televised turds on the dinner plates of their fans, Al Golden could easily be rolling into Happy Valley this week with an undefeated Temple squad.
Unfortunately for my Diabolical Golden Scheme, the remnants of Hurricane Hanna didn't cooperate with Temple's plans during an overtime Mud Bowl loss to Connecticut. And then this happened last week:
Lest We Forget: Temple actually moved the ball in chunks during last year's game in Philly. The score may have ended at 31-0, but Temple took the opening kickoff and proceeded down to the PSU 5 before imploding and missing a chip shot field goal. Their third offensive drive died at the PSU 13, their fourth ended at the PSU 10. All of that, with a backup quarterback. Temple came out with a beautiful offensive plan against a better defense than we currently possess, and succeeded.
The Mystery Machine: What is Temple's defense, exactly? Hard to tell. They gave up a bunch of rushing yards to Army, but that's all Army knows. The UConn game was a slopfest, not exactly useful as a data point. That leaves last week's Buffalo game, in which our old friend Drew Willy (you'll remember him torching the PSU secondary last year) threw for well over 300 yards. So...yes. That's Temple's defense.
Son Of Dubious Statistical Achievements: In the 1994 meeting between these teams, Kerry Collins completed 12 passes for 286 yards (23.8 ypc) and wasn't even the game's leading passer. Henry Burris threw for 323 yards...on 23 more attempts. Another weird fact from the Game Notes -- Penn State has scored 35+ points in its first three games. The last time that happened? 1994. Just stoking the fire of your offensive dreams, folks.
This Post Is Worthless Without Another Bill Cosby Reference: Okay, okay. Here's Eddie Murphy's classic Cosby impression (if you're at work and don't know what you're getting yourself into, just wait until you get home, seriously). But this isn't all just about the pudding pop guy. What about proud Temple alums Bob Saget and Daryl Hall? Will nobody speak for the surprisingly dirty comics and blue-eyed soul crooners?
* - At least when choosing among the commonly accepted possibilities.