Future Victims Unit: Too Much Icing, Not Enough Cake

(Defensive grades will be up tonight or tomorrow morning, after some semi-sober DVR analysis.)

A quick look at how Penn State's past and future opponents made out on Saturday:

Coastal Carolina (0-2) took a 19-3 lead into the fourth quarter against Colgate and gagged it away, giving up 20 points in the final period to lose 23-19.

Syracuse (0-2), you truly suck. The Orange fought back to tie Akron at 28 in the fourth quarter, but couldn't stop QB Chris Jacquemain (20/26, 260 yds, 3 TD) when it counted. Akron wins 42-28. Syracuse is in for an ass whooping of Biblical proportions next week.

Temple (1-1) once again fought the good fight against UConn, this time with monsoon conditions in Philly, but couldn't hold a 6-0 second half lead. UConn kicked two field goals to send it into overtime. Temple kicked a field goal in OT, UConn finally cracked the goal line for the win. The Owls travel to Buffalo next week.

The Fightin' Zookers (1-1) easily handled Eastern Illinois, 47-21. They take on the Ragin' Cajuns at home next week.

Purdue (1-0) opened the season against the Stabbin' Punters of Northern Colorado and won easily, 42-10. Slight upgrade in competition next week, as they host #16 Oregon. (Purdue vs. Oregon? Weird.)

Snooze On, Wisconsin (2-0)! They obviously got a late wake-up call against Marshall and fell behind 14-0 early in the second quarter. The BadgerBadgerBadgers responded by putting up 51 consecutive points. Fun statistical note for those who appreciate rushing game bludgeoning -- six of Wisconsin's seven touchdowns were scored on running plays of five yards or less. Long flight for the BadgerBadgerBadgers next week. They're at Fresno State. Intriguing.

Michigan (2-0) (1-1) stalled and sputtered, but did enough to beat Fake Miami, 16-6. I have nothing interesting to say about this game, other than to bring up two notes from the box score -- Michigan only allowed 47 rushing yards and did not turn the ball over. They play at Notre Dame next week.

You likely already know about Ohio State (2-0) doing their best to put the "turd" in "Saturday" against the Ohio Bobcats. The game was an utter mess for the Buckeyes, and not a particularly encouraging effort heading into next week's GAME OF THE CENTURY OF THE WEEK against Southern Cal.

Iowa (2-0) had their way with Florida International. Annnnnd, done.

Extra icing for Indiana (2-0), who devoured their Murray State cupcake, 45-3. They take on Ball State next week, and as we all know, "I'd rather Ball U. than IU."

Michigan State (1-1) trounced Eastern Michigan 42-10. They have a relatively tricky game against Florida Atlantic next week before a showdown with Notre Dame on 9/20.

Log In Sign Up

Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Black Shoe Diaries

You must be a member of Black Shoe Diaries to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Black Shoe Diaries. You should read them.

Join Black Shoe Diaries

You must be a member of Black Shoe Diaries to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Black Shoe Diaries. You should read them.




Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.