Good morning, have you made Nick Saban scream an obscenity today?  Grab a coffee and enjoy your Saturday news roundup.

Be prepared to read a variety of this column until further notice.  Kirk Bohls of the Austin American-Statesman cobbles together the boilerplate Big Ten Sucks article. Nebulous crap that can't be proven?  Yes.

Chief among the reasons for the franchise league's falloff is inferior quarterback play. The best quarterback in the Big Ten — either Penn State's Darryl Clark or Ohio State's blossoming Terrelle Pryor — would probably rank seventh or lower as a Big 12 quarterback.

So, yeah.  Daryll Clark = Joe Ganz*.  Or worse.  Got it. 

Really odd comparisons?  Yes.

Top schoolboy talent would rather play for young, aggressive coaches like Urban Meyer and Bob Stoops than Joe Paterno and whomever the Indiana coach is now.

Totally, or they'd rather play for Joe Paterno and Jim Tressel than Bob Stoops and whomever the Mississippi State coach is now.  But hey, at least Bohls is complimentary of Penn State!

Penn State had a rare great season.

Again, it's absolutely true.  If there's one thing that Penn State fans aren't used to, it's winning. But enough about that, let's talk THREE YARDS AND A CLOUD OF CRAP WOOOOOOOOOOO!

Michigan coach Rich Rodriguez might ultimately be the best thing to happen to the Big Ten since Ohio State coach Jim Tressel. Rodriguez will revolutionize that conference with a dynamic spread offense like Penn State and Northwestern now feature. But it could take time.

Spot on.  In fact, Rodriguez's influence was so great that eight other Big Ten teams decided to run the spread upon his arrival!  Because we're gracious hosts.

This is the classic example of the media echo chamber.  It's the college football equivalent of the country focusing its energy and attention on The Summer Of Shark Attacks or Pretty Missing White Girls or SEC Speed.  Every talking head opinion and lazy news column leads to more talking head opinions and lazy news columns.  Hey, I'm totally willing to accept the premise, just give me some basic reasoning that won't make my brain melt.

The Big Ten deserves some grief.  I don't think anybody can deny that. The conference is down -- very down -- and was obviously not served well by getting two BCS slots, bumping up the level of bowl competition for the soft middle of the conference.  Many of them may be bowl teams, but nobody confused with with being good teams.  Not even their own fans.

Still, for those of us slopping at the media trough, win or get used to it.  More news and miscellaneous garbage after the jump.

* - Who completes about 71% of his passes, but come on.

Joe Paterno had two surprise visitors during his Friday press conference.

"We let it get out of hand," Paterno said, before Lions spokesman Guido D'Elia alerted the 82-year-old coach that a couple of interested visitors were about to interrupt the Q-and-A session for a brief visit.

And who should walk into the room but old coaching rivals Barry Switzer and Jimmy Johnson, the former leaders of some great Oklahoma and Miami teams from the 1970s and 1980s.

Their presence did wonders for Paterno's mood, as he quickly arose from his chair to greet them.

Switzer, who led the Sooners past PSU in the 1986 Orange Bowl en route to a national title, even offered Paterno some advice.

"To hell with those b--------," Switzer quipped. "You keep doing what you're doing."

The NFL decisions of Aaron Maybin and Maurice Evans should come in days.

Navorro Bowman had to grow up way too quickly this year.  Heartbreaking stuff.

Daryll Clark is already staking his Alpha Dog territory in the absence of A.Q. Shipley, Derrick Williams, and other departing seniors.