Michigan Fan Intervention

Dear SCUM fanbase,

..Get a hold of yourselves!  It's Tuesday of Ohio State week and what do I see on Maize N Brew & MgoBlog? OMG Devin Gardner.. I heart John Beilein.. Are you freaking kidding me?  You are 'expletive' Michigan!  Don't get me wrong I hate your freaking guts and I sustain myself with your tears but for the love of God we went 0-9 against you from 1997-2007.  You singlehandedly got John Cooper fired even though he didn't get beat by anybody else but you!  If there is anything as irritating as having one of your rivals stride across the conference like a goliath its watching the same fan base dwindle into an apathetic funk of suck.

So you are 5-6? Cry me a river.  I attended Penn State from 2000-Spring 2005.. That's five years and 4 losing records.  And as much as I'd love to see RR go up in smoke and Jim Harbaugh give double middle fingered salutes to sweatervest after throwing for that 7th TD pass with 30 seconds left in a 49-14 win 3 years from now, can you imagine how great it would be if you could spoil the Rose Bowl season by getting bowl eligible against Ohio State in the finale.  A season in which OSU had no right to be the Big 10 favorite anyways that had been resurrected with a Rose Bowl birth would fall into Epic FAIL category.  Admit it.. deep down if you could be 8-3 right now with a 49-7 beating on the way wouldn't you trade it for a 2-6 record with a season ending win over "The Ohio State University."  Come on.

So you say.. Sure that would be great? But come on.. how do we even have a chance?  Have you seen the UM defense?

Yeah I've seen your defense.  You've got a great defensive end and a decent D-line.. You've got one decent corner and then three guys who can't cover to save their lives.  Your linebackers are basically useless.  But I tell you a secret.. Ohio State can't throw the ball...  

Here's another one.  Terrelle Pryor can't read a defense to save his life.

The closest thing that Ohio State has faced to your offense, and for that matter your defense... is Purdue.  You played them a couple of weeks ago, it was like mirror images of chokedom and somehow they came out on top.  They beat Ohio State too.. That means you can.

To which you say?  You just want to be involved in a 17-way tie for the Big 10 title.  Think of the glory of being tied with Iowa, Ohio State, Wisconsin, The University of Chicago, and insert branch campus here for the Big 10 championship.. Who couldn't want that?  Guilty.. I wouldn't mind winning 3 of the last 5 Big 10 championships(none outright.. is that correct? Jesus).  That would be a nice consolation prize.  

But more than anything else.. I want their fanbase to turn on Tressel.  And I think this game is just the game to do it.

So suck it up Michigan fans.  Preview the damn game.  Pay attention, send some damn letters to GERG to give him a freaking clue, and if you want to talk about basketball then talk about it when the fans of the bigtime programs do.. in March.

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