Malicious Internet Interrogation, Part Two: The Only Colors
1. If you were selling the Land Grant Trophy at a garage sale, what price would you put on the sticker?
I know that the strictures of blogging require me to say "i shud totes pay them 2 take it away, lololol," but really, I think there's a lot of value packed inside that beauty. You've got the exquisite mahogany frame (excellent as a replacement coffee table leg in a pinch), two bonus paperweights, fine campus art, that little plaque under the lion that looks sort of like a double light switch, and who couldn't use an impressive-looking trophy-action-guy to put on the ol' mantle? Seriously, you could furnish an entire apartment with this thing.
It's like an '85 Datsun: the parts themselves are worth far more than the sum of the parts. So, like, at least $3.75, FIRM.
Functional, but only when dismantled into 20 pieces.
2. Penn State's defensive weakness is against the pass, especially crossing routes in the middle of the field. Your guys aren't going to be total jerks and try stuff like that, right?
Of course not! Because if we've learned anything from the past few years, it's that Mark Dantonio will go to great lengths to appease opposing fans.
In all seriousness: yeah, that's probably exactly what we're going to do. Blair White is excellent from the slot, and although he had a relatively quiet week against Purdue, he did score a huge 4th quarter touchdown on--you guessed it--a shallow crossing route in the middle of the field. We've also got B.J. Cunningham, Mark Dell, and two tight ends (Charlie Gantt and Brian Linthicum) who are proficient at that sort of thing. Cunningham, White, and Keshawn Martin are each also serious deep threats. If we don't get a whole lot of production from them collectively, Penn State wins.
3. PSU's special teams are bad. And by "bad", I mean "run away from the television while sobbing uncontrollably." Michigan State ranks 7th nationally in kickoff returns and has the best placekicker in the conference. Is there any part of special teams where Penn State might have an advantage?
The only area where we've been at least semi-weak is on kickoff coverage. Swenson is an excellent kicker, but he's very average at kickoffs; most teams have been able to return kicks to the 30 with regularity, but we haven't allowed any touchdowns and it hasn't been horrible. It has been better the past few weeks (allowed Purdue less than 15 yards per return last Saturday), and really I'm not all that concerned about it anymore. Similarly, punt coverage has been kinda meh, but nothing disastrous.
Everywhere else: yeah, we're good. Keshawn Martin has been absolutely unreal at returning kicks the past few weeks: he had 227 return yards last week, including a return to Purdue's 10 yard line late in the 4th quarter, and a spectacular return for a touchdown against Minnesota. He's not quite as dangerous bringing back punts, but still quite good. As you say, Swenson is the best kicker in the conference, and he's coming off a 4-4 day last Saturday (including two 52 yarders).
This seems to be an area where MSU has a major edge, and we'll really need to take advantage of it in order to win.
4. Everyone knows about Greg Jones already, but who are some other players on MSU's defense we should be concerned with?
The linebackers as a unit are pretty good. Eric Gordon has had a very good season at weakside LB, and Jon Misch had a decent game last week at the other outside spot. Jones is certainly the leader, however. The two defensive tackles (Jerel Worthy and Oren Wilson) have both been very good; Worthy should certainly end up on the B10 all-freshman team. They've been let down by the defensive ends, however. We hoped that Trevor Anderson would be picking up bunches of sacks this year, but he's been mostly anonymous. We've had success pressuring opposing quarterbacks through linebacker blitzes, but that obviously creates problems for the secondary. And the secondary is terrible.
So, yeah, worry more about our offense and special teams than the defense.
5. Let's go back to the conclusion of last year's game, with the score 49-18, and Penn State passing out roses on their sideline:
MSU 1-15 at Psu36 Cousins, Kirk pass incomplete to Dell, Mark.
MSU 2-15 at Psu36 Timeout Michigan State, clock 00:09.
MSU 2-15 at Psu36 Timeout Michigan State, clock 00:09.
MSU 2-15 at Psu36 Cousins, Kirk pass incomplete to White, Blair
MSU 3-15 at Psu36 End of game, clock 00:00.
The team was down 31 points, it was about 25 degrees outside, and the Michigan State players were essentially yucking it up and taunting the Penn State fans who wanted to celebrate a conference title. So, what the hell? What was the reaction to those timeouts in Spartyland last year, and did Mark Dantonio inadvertently do all of us a little favor by injecting a little dickishness into this fabricated rivalry? Was there any justification ever given for that?
All right. So, it should be noted that from the beginning, I wasn't pleased with the move; I cringed when it happened and told the whole entire internets that I thought Dantonio was wrong. (Look for comments from "Ben." But most everyone commenting shared my sentiment, I think.) Dantonio never explained his actions, as far as I know, but I'm sure he would tell you that he was simply running his offense. I think it's more likely that he was pissed that roses were already being handed out well before the final whistle wanted to stick it to PSU a bit. Obviously, he was successful in getting under PSU fans' skin, if nothing else. It wasn't a classy move at all, but oh well.
But, like, aren't you guys blowing this a bit out of proportion? It's not like he killed your dog. At worst, the timeouts made your team wait an extra 90 seconds to be crowned as the conference champion. Dick move by Dantonio? Yes. Jihad-worthy? I don't think so. And anyway, I still don't have a whole lot of sympathy for the weather complaints. We cheer for teams that play in bad weather; it happens. I've seen my team get stomped on in worse weather than that; if I was watching MSU clinch a Rose Bowl berth, I'd be way too delirious with excitement and joy and happiness and so forth to even notice that it was 25 degrees outside.
Anyway, it's probably not a bad thing in the end. Like you said, this game needed a bit of spice. It at least sort of has it now.
Dantonio, in happier days.
6. What's your confidence level for this game, and how do you see it shaking out?
Not all that high, honestly. Clark picked our defense apart last year, and while you don't have Derrick Williams anymore, our pass defense is even worse this time around. Also, I have distressing visions of Jared Odrick pwning whoever's blocking him and not giving Cousins enough time to be comfortable.
More generally, Dantonio has done a lot of good things during his time at MSU, but beating teams with appreciably more talent certainly hasn't been one of those things. So, I'll remain skeptical until we finally win one of these games. It's at home, which is good, and I could definitely see the special teams stats ending up very lopsided in our favor. But PSU is the better team, and you're playing for more: a win for us would upgrade our bowl game slightly, but a win for PSU might send you guys to the BCS. So, an upset isn't out of the possibility, but I'm not particularly optimistic.
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Comments
I think we're all trying to latch on to some hate with this sham
HATEHATEHATEHATEHATE
"I'm colonel cool! And I'm the captain on this rocket to the stars!"
I laughed my ass off at the hidding "dickish timeouts" in the Colbert picture.
Nice work.
"Every player we have, someone-maybe a parent, a grandparent, someone-poured their soul into that young man. They are handing that young man off to us. They are giving us their treasure, and it's our job to make sure we give them back that young man intact and ready to face the world."
-J.V.Pa.
liked that too
Still miss Bears, tho. They should be ubiquitous.
"For me the game wasn’t grounded in reality. It was about the uniform you put on that turned you into a warrior. It was about the mythology of the battle, the victory, the defeat, the struggle." - Mike Reid, PSU '69
Lair
That cost me a couple of thousand dollars in total.
The LGT is like something from the goodwill store in “Napoleon Dynamite”.
DO YOU HAVE PRIDE, DANNY?
by ReadingRambler on Nov 19, 2009 3:17 PM EST up reply actions
Too bad Lansing is cursed and he'll be gone for, like, Colorado in a couple of years
DO YOU HAVE PRIDE, DANNY?
by ReadingRambler on Nov 19, 2009 3:17 PM EST up reply actions
Land Grant Trophy
Bowling trophy on top
Next we have a $20 Nittany Lion statue and a $20 Sparty Statue
In the middle, there’s some weird white thing. It’s either a stamp or a diagram of Dealey Plaza.
And all of this on some wood found at a Mexican yard sale. Ese.
DO YOU HAVE PRIDE, DANNY?
I swear I knew what that white thing was once
and recall thinking it was quite redundant (like another image of old main/beaumont tower, or the lion and the spartan), but I can’t find an image anywhere that makes it even remotely clear what it is.
by The JuggerNitt on Nov 19, 2009 4:24 PM EST up reply actions
I looked too but couldn't find any decent pictures or descriptions
But I did find this on wiki:

Maybe we should just play for the 1955 3 cent stamp.
"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy"
But it was cold
aren’t you guys blowing this a bit out of proportion?
It was freezing at the game and some of our fans didn’t wear shirts, so it was a very nasty thing to do. I could tell that everyone there was really cold as I had another beer on my couch.
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
Bill Cosby
It was cold
I couldn’t feel my ears.
Almost as cold as Dantonio’s soul.
DO YOU HAVE PRIDE, DANNY?
by ReadingRambler on Nov 19, 2009 3:26 PM EST up reply actions
wait, droids have years?
let alone ears with temperature sensors on them (or perhaps circuitry that malfunctions in the cold)?
Also, how were you at the game when I’m about 98% certain you never leave home, nor your computer
by The JuggerNitt on Nov 19, 2009 4:25 PM EST up reply actions
So the first 4 hours didn't kill them, but the extra 90 seconds did?
"Do not cheat your team or your teammates. Know your plays. Block. Protect. Add to what we are trying to do."
The Only Colors
HAAAAAAAAAAAATE
"Do not cheat your team or your teammates. Know your plays. Block. Protect. Add to what we are trying to do."
The Only Colors
Interesting signature
Is it safe to assume, from your signature, that there is a lot of infidelity among the players on MSU who are dating each other?
"Every player we have, someone—maybe a parent, a grandparent, someone—poured their life and soul into that young man. They are handing that young man off to us. They are giving us their treasure, and it's our job to make sure we give them back that young man intact and ready to face the world." - Joe Paterno
by Horse N Buggy on Nov 19, 2009 3:43 PM EST up reply actions
And that was Duffy Daugherty! In the 60s
Can you imagine what those criminals are up to now?
DO YOU HAVE PRIDE, DANNY?
by ReadingRambler on Nov 19, 2009 3:45 PM EST up reply actions
re: the weather
even if it was 70 and sunny, we’d be bitching about the back-to-back timeouts. It was a dickish move in any setting. As Rambler says “are we blowing it out of proportion? yes” but we’ve gotta do something to spice this up (and to think, when I came to MSU for grad school they were the “safe” choice because previously there was zero reason to HATEHATEHATEHATE!!!)
by The JuggerNitt on Nov 19, 2009 4:29 PM EST up reply actions
That's kinda the point.
It was equally lame in 25 degree weather as it would have been in 70 degree weather. Whining about how much worse it was because of the weather is just . . . whiny.
"Do not cheat your team or your teammates. Know your plays. Block. Protect. Add to what we are trying to do."
The Only Colors
Oh, my
I have a response here, but, no, I’ll just let it go.
HATE.
UNACCEPTBLE!
by ReadingRambler on Nov 19, 2009 7:54 PM EST up reply actions
I complain about the weather
because I feel it helps me justify my contrived hate for something as ridiculous as back-to-back timeouts a little more. Don’t ruin this for me.
YES!
I understand you live in Michigan and blah blah blah it’s cold there. But in State College we started tailgating this game at 8:00 a.m. so by the time he decided to unecessarily delay the end of the game we had already been outside in sub-zero temperatures for about 10+ hours. I can’t remember ever being that cold in my entire life honestly.
And really, I would be complaining about this busch league nonsense if it happened at the actual rose bowl, not just while you were watching your hopes of playing in it slip away.
We are not normal. We are legends.
by NittanyAlum02 on Nov 20, 2009 11:13 AM EST up reply actions
As a visiting MSU fan
I would like to reiterate how truly bad the MSU secondary has played this season (with a few brief exceptions – the Iowa game being the main one, until the last play {twitch}). It’s scary. Every QB turns into Matt Rodgers for a day! Ha, how’d you like that two-time First Team all-Big Ten reference? Clark should be no exception.
I think Cousins has been better, but...they'll probably give first team to Pryor anyway
I’d take Matt Rodgers over Clark.
DO YOU HAVE PRIDE, DANNY?
by ReadingRambler on Nov 19, 2009 3:36 PM EST up reply actions
re: Clark should be no exception
Unless you get pressure. Can you get pressure? We have a formidable Oline now, you know? Can you bring it past these guys?

"For me the game wasn’t grounded in reality. It was about the uniform you put on that turned you into a warrior. It was about the mythology of the battle, the victory, the defeat, the struggle." - Mike Reid, PSU '69
Is Purdue's offensive line better than yours?
Because if not, no, we probably cannot get pressure. Not quickly enough to matter, anyway.
Ok, my opinion on the whole timeout thing:
It was a dickish move, but in the end, I really don’t care. Are we blowing it out of proportion? Hell, yes. That’s the point. We need a good end of season rivalry. MSU didn’t give us much reason to hate them last year. But then “I pick up my players from prison”(OH SNAP HAAATEEEE) decided to act a little dickish and we picked up on it.
I haven’t seen anyone outside of BSD talking about those timeouts. Hmm.
DO YOU HAVE PRIDE, DANNY?
We hate because we don't care.
Like we said, this “rivalry” needed a kickstart, and Dantonio being a smug prick at the end of last year’s game helps tremendously.
Twitter: @scrappled
"When it’s third-and-10, you can take the milk drinkers and I’ll take the whiskey drinkers every time" - Max McGee
by Run Up The Score on Nov 19, 2009 3:37 PM EST up reply actions
Agree, it's a start
But I think the only way I’ll really, truly hate MSU is if a) they beat us for 4 straight years, or b) Dantonio morphs into Barry Switzer. You know, players dealing drugs, beating people up, all while Dantonio calls them “good kids”.
Someone make “b” happen. I prefer that one.
DO YOU HAVE PRIDE, DANNY?
by ReadingRambler on Nov 19, 2009 3:40 PM EST up reply actions
Everybody does
Deals drugs…beats you up, beats me up. Whatever.
"Every player we have, someone—maybe a parent, a grandparent, someone—poured their life and soul into that young man. They are handing that young man off to us. They are giving us their treasure, and it's our job to make sure we give them back that young man intact and ready to face the world." - Joe Paterno
by Horse N Buggy on Nov 19, 2009 3:45 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
The Kentucky Basketball story
DO YOU HAVE PRIDE, DANNY?
by ReadingRambler on Nov 19, 2009 3:46 PM EST up reply actions
it not the tenessee football update
"No, Donny, these men are nihilists. There's nothing to be afraid of"
by psu in the w-b on Nov 19, 2009 6:48 PM EST up reply actions
Which made you angrier?
Dantonio’s time outs?… Or Bielema going offside on 3 straight kickoffs to end the half.
Bielema by far angered me more than the time outs, like throw stuff at the TV anger.
I know a lot more than they know. I'm going to do what I believe is in the kid's best interest. That's what this whole thing is about.-Joe Paterno
No way. Easy disagree
I had inklings of respect for Bielema making a mockery of the silly rulesmakers.
Douchetonio was just grudgy douchea, with no cleverness or guile.
"For me the game wasn’t grounded in reality. It was about the uniform you put on that turned you into a warrior. It was about the mythology of the battle, the victory, the defeat, the struggle." - Mike Reid, PSU '69
I hate Bielema more...
and the refs for not calling the obvious personal foul and rekick for intentional offsides.
I'd go with Bielema on this one
both were dick moves, but one actually influenced the outcome of a game. There are ways to get silly rules changed, and one of those ways is to exploit it, but it definitely isn’t the classiest way.
But since we’ve owned Wisconsin since then, my hate has slightly subsided, and Dantonio’s is more recent (plus Wisky wasn’t even on our schedule this year, nor next, so I’m letting that hate simmer on low for a bit)
by The JuggerNitt on Nov 19, 2009 4:32 PM EST up reply actions
Definitely Bielema...
….maybe a trend…after Bielema pulled his douschebaggery, we have utterly stomped them…
….same thing for Sparty!
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE
WE ARE.......PENN STATE!
Answer - Dantonio
Bielema got what he deserved for pulling that stunt. No one remembers it but on the last kickoff that Wiscy did that didn’t have a penalty and closed out the half Penn State fumbled the kickoff and the ball was recovered by Wisconsin in FG range BUT there was no time left on the clock to attempt the FG due to the assinine 3 consecutive off sides penalties.
Where's the open thread???
DO YOU HAVE PRIDE, DANNY?
by ReadingRambler on Nov 19, 2009 4:06 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
Right here!
"For me the game wasn’t grounded in reality. It was about the uniform you put on that turned you into a warrior. It was about the mythology of the battle, the victory, the defeat, the struggle." - Mike Reid, PSU '69
Himan has a fanpost up
Go
DO YOU HAVE PRIDE, DANNY?
by ReadingRambler on Nov 19, 2009 4:11 PM EST up reply actions
Up now.
Twitter: @scrappled
"When it’s third-and-10, you can take the milk drinkers and I’ll take the whiskey drinkers every time" - Max McGee
by Run Up The Score on Nov 19, 2009 4:16 PM EST up reply actions
How's it hangin brother?
"For me the game wasn’t grounded in reality. It was about the uniform you put on that turned you into a warrior. It was about the mythology of the battle, the victory, the defeat, the struggle." - Mike Reid, PSU '69
______SMASH!
"For me the game wasn’t grounded in reality. It was about the uniform you put on that turned you into a warrior. It was about the mythology of the battle, the victory, the defeat, the struggle." - Mike Reid, PSU '69
Who Wrote The Caption to the Dantonio scowl mugshot?
ROTFLMFAO….haven’t laughed that hard in a long time…
I remember that horses ass giving his passive/agressive answer to the TO question with a pompous smirk on his face too….

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