HATE WEEK: Iowa
by ReadingRambler on Dec 3, 2009 5:23 PM EST
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PrintAfter the Big 12 championship game and THE GAME BETWEEN TWO TEAMS THAT CANNOT POSSIBLY BE DESCRIBED WITH WORDS in Atlanta are both over, we will find our fate. Assuming the Texas Longhorns win, either Penn State or Iowa will go the Fiesta Bowl.
Now, I can't pretend to be as good as Cairo. I will write down a few details. But I expect, you, yes, you the commenter to detail your HATE HATE HATE for Iowa.
WHEN
If their coach was a West German Country music act from the late ‘70s/early ‘80s:
I wish the I-form was still the rage. Back before the spread and back before Gus Malzahn.
But maybe someday, we'll return with our boring offense and our lack of speed.
Yes, friends, Merle Haggard and Kirk Ferentz are one and the same.
WHY DO WE HATE IOWA?
There are more pigs in Iowa than human beings. The people of that state have nothing but their beloved Hawkeyes. Desperate for a chance to leave their squalorous farmsteads on the barren wastes of the eastern prairies and for a chance to ignore their basketball team ("Anthony Tucker? I hardly knew her!"), they have killed themselves in plane accidents, gone pro early (good luck without Spievey next year), joined the Army to try out Korea, gone to the Olympics (In China, the air is much clearer than the air in Cedar Rapids or Siouxer City), or gone to work with John Ford in Hollywood.
Now, with little gasoline but with neat crossbows, they wish to drag themselves to Glendale.
Iowa fans on the road to Arizona.
We hate Iowa because the Fiesta Bowl is a monument to good. Ever since 1987.
We cannot allow it to be tainted by Kirk and his minions (including myself).
More importantly, nothing would make us happier than defeating Iowa where it really counts: MONEY
We're bigger than them. We're richer than them. Money wise, we're the South Forks Fishing and Hunting Club. Iowa is the city of Johnstown.
Let's keep it that way.
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Nice
Refreshing to see your true (true) colors again. +1 for Desperate for a chance to leave their squalorous farmsteads on the barren wastes of the eastern prairies and the Country Music act.
"For me the game wasn’t grounded in reality. It was about the uniform you put on that turned you into a warrior. It was about the mythology of the battle, the victory, the defeat, the struggle." - Mike Reid, PSU '69
You were just itching for this, weren't you?
Ever since Cairo started these up, RR got upstaged as the clever one with the posting prowess. Now you can shine again. Don’t let it go to your head.
You're kidding yourself
Cairo’s “HATE WEEK: Everyone Else” is the best post I’ve seen on this site.
But I was here today so here we are.
I have never considered myself to be “clever”.
"I don't know. I don't know. [waves hand dismissively] First, you'd have to tell me what a 'BCS' is. I don't know."
by ReadingRambler on Dec 3, 2009 6:20 PM EST up reply actions
We Own the Fiesta bowl so hard.
Harder than USC owns the big ten.
That can never be taken away thanks to 1987and Vinny Testaturde’s need to complete passes to Shane Conlan and Pete Giftopoulo and the rest of that defense.
Sorry to our tOSU bretheren and Iowa hopefuls, but we will always OWN Tempe. And Glendale and what ever other plot of land in Arizona we wish to acquire.
Also, I hate Iowa. The state just looks stupid. You can’t pay for bowl tickets with corn silk and grain alcohol. If you were to travel on your John Deere, you should have left already. Sure most of your fans I have talked to are pretty friendly, but meh. Our money will talk and your bullshit(quite literally) will walk.
That said, lets go play LSU in the Citrus.
Black Shoes. Basic Blues. No Name. All Game.
"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the mouth."
That's the spirit!
Bring on the hate!
"I don't know. I don't know. [waves hand dismissively] First, you'd have to tell me what a 'BCS' is. I don't know."
by ReadingRambler on Dec 3, 2009 6:21 PM EST up reply actions
Terry Porter might give us a run for our money
in owning Tempe.
"For me the game wasn’t grounded in reality. It was about the uniform you put on that turned you into a warrior. It was about the mythology of the battle, the victory, the defeat, the struggle." - Mike Reid, PSU '69
Let him try to fight Shane Conlan and ROBO-HIP-PaternoSMASH for it.
Black Shoes. Basic Blues. No Name. All Game.
"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the mouth."
I will not listen to your hatred of grain alcohol!
Other than that, carry on.
It never gets to be easy
by chitownhawkeye on Dec 3, 2009 9:07 PM EST up reply actions
Easy on the farmer bashing
Have you looked at the area surrounding Beaver Stadium?
Fair enough
But our state actually has, you know, cities and other metropolitan areas. Ones that are even big enough to have professional sports. Hell, even State College has a single A baseball team.
Pennsylvania is diverse in its population density. You have something against diversity?
The point of hatred is not to think rationally.
Black Shoes. Basic Blues. No Name. All Game.
"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the mouth."
I hate Iowa
And Iowa hates creativity:
I wouldn't trust old rooster me neither.
by spakajewia on Dec 3, 2009 6:47 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
red x
"I don't know. I don't know. [waves hand dismissively] First, you'd have to tell me what a 'BCS' is. I don't know."
by ReadingRambler on Dec 3, 2009 7:55 PM EST up reply actions
Iowa used to be new france. I hate the french..pass the freedom fries
"No, Donny, these men are nihilists. There's nothing to be afraid of"
I HATE IOWA
More importantly, nothing would make us happier than defeating Iowa where it really counts: MONEY
LMAO off on that one.
I hate IOWA because they are Iowa. do we need a reason other than that?
"They say in Happy Valley that if God wasn’t a Penn State fan, why is the sky blue and white?" Fortt said. "Who am I to argue with God?"
I hate Iowa
because they make me feel like a snobby Michigan fan in order to find reasons why we are better than them.
by The JuggerNitt on Dec 4, 2009 12:27 PM EST up reply actions
I hate Iowa
because after I got done watching Field of Dreams, I drove all night to get to that damn ballfield…and they had torn it down. Then they told me Moonlight Graham died 35 years ago. God I hate Iowa.
HATE! HATE! and
more hate to pass around….PSU had better start to Sound off for itself as a little birdie has chirped to me that New Jersey’s and Big11 Commish is openly rooting and pressuring all who have any power, to get Ioway the BCS game, not us….“they” hate the poor brother from the East…JoePa please start to use some of your powers…do like Garshdangit and pick your own bowl, eh ?!
and HATE!
Is there anyone out there that really likes MARK MAY that horses’ A$$…ESPN = The Eveel Empire…
I tried Iowa and it sucked
All I saw was a meat plant in Cedar Rapids
"Once you get them running, you stay right on top of them, and that way a small force can defeat a large one every time... Only thus can a weaker country cope with a stronger; it must make up in activity what it lacks in strength." - Stonewall
That's an oat plant
"I thought the kid we were using had the potential to be a good quarterback, and I blew that one." - Joseph V. Paterno
all I saw was the world's largest truck stop
by The JuggerNitt on Dec 4, 2009 12:30 PM EST up reply actions
True story-
Jason Hervey’s wife used to dance at the titty bar just down the road from the world’s largest truck stop.
I’ll take Winnie Cooper over trashy eastern Iowa girls any day.
"I thought the kid we were using had the potential to be a good quarterback, and I blew that one." - Joseph V. Paterno
Winnie Cooper FTW
Black Shoes. Basic Blues. No Name. All Game.
"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the mouth."
Hey, trashy Eastern Iowan girls rock at 2 am
"Wow. You know you have problems when even the cheerleaders know you suck." ~ Pain in the Sash
by Leftcoast Hawk on Dec 11, 2009 5:46 PM EST up reply actions
Saw?
You smell the plants in Cedar Rapids before you ever see them
It never gets to be easy
by chitownhawkeye on Dec 4, 2009 7:47 PM EST up reply actions
Ditto the GPC plant in Muscatine
Mmmmm… burnt grain….
"I thought the kid we were using had the potential to be a good quarterback, and I blew that one." - Joseph V. Paterno
I tried Iowa and it sucked
It was more boring than an SEC game
"Once you get them running, you stay right on top of them, and that way a small force can defeat a large one every time... Only thus can a weaker country cope with a stronger; it must make up in activity what it lacks in strength." - Stonewall
I tried Iowa and it sucked
All I saw was an overrated move about some corn farmer and baseball.
"Once you get them running, you stay right on top of them, and that way a small force can defeat a large one every time... Only thus can a weaker country cope with a stronger; it must make up in activity what it lacks in strength." - Stonewall
movie definitely not overrated
as for Costner, he’s also in one of the most underrated baseball movies: For Love of the Game. I would say take out the boring love story, but that may actually be a good thing about it, as it tricks girls into watching/enjoying it as well.
by The JuggerNitt on Dec 4, 2009 2:02 PM EST up reply actions
I liked For Love of the Game as well.
Don’t Forget Bull Durham though. Classic stuff.
Black Shoes. Basic Blues. No Name. All Game.
"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the mouth."
of course it is
but I feel it is rated fairly accurately in the scheme of things. But about the only thing I don’t like in For Love of the Game is that (just like pretty much every other baseball movie) the antagonists are the Yankees.
by The JuggerNitt on Dec 4, 2009 2:14 PM EST up reply actions
Costner is only allowed to be in baseball movies
everything else he does sucks
It never gets to be easy
by chitownhawkeye on Dec 4, 2009 7:48 PM EST up reply actions
and IIIIIIIIIIIIII will always love YOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
by The JuggerNitt on Dec 5, 2009 10:46 AM EST up reply actions
Crack is Wac
"For me the game wasn’t grounded in reality. It was about the uniform you put on that turned you into a warrior. It was about the mythology of the battle, the victory, the defeat, the struggle." - Mike Reid, PSU '69
FACT
That fur coat is made out of hundreds of adorable kittens and puppies that were slaughtered for it where? Iowa.
KMA
"Once you get them running, you stay right on top of them, and that way a small force can defeat a large one every time... Only thus can a weaker country cope with a stronger; it must make up in activity what it lacks in strength." - Stonewall
by ReadingRambler on Dec 4, 2009 2:37 PM EST up reply actions
If you hate them they wont go
"A good plan violently executed now is better than a perfect plan executed next week. "
George S Patton
by psu in the w-b on Dec 4, 2009 6:21 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
+1 for truth
"Once you get them running, you stay right on top of them, and that way a small force can defeat a large one every time... Only thus can a weaker country cope with a stronger; it must make up in activity what it lacks in strength." - Stonewall
by ReadingRambler on Dec 4, 2009 7:29 PM EST up reply actions
I tried Iowa and it sucked
All I heard was the sound of crickets during a Hawkeye basketball game at the Carver-Hawkeye Arena
"Once you get them running, you stay right on top of them, and that way a small force can defeat a large one every time... Only thus can a weaker country cope with a stronger; it must make up in activity what it lacks in strength." - Stonewall
I tried Iowa and it sucked
All I saw was Iowa claiming Tennessee Williams as their own when his first name clearly states the truth
"Once you get them running, you stay right on top of them, and that way a small force can defeat a large one every time... Only thus can a weaker country cope with a stronger; it must make up in activity what it lacks in strength." - Stonewall
by ReadingRambler on Dec 4, 2009 12:51 AM EST reply actions 1 recs
I tried Iowa and it sucked
All I saw was a BHGP poster searching for “naked softball”
"Once you get them running, you stay right on top of them, and that way a small force can defeat a large one every time... Only thus can a weaker country cope with a stronger; it must make up in activity what it lacks in strength." - Stonewall
I tried Iowa and it sucked
All I heard was the sound of Iowa fans pining for Doctor Tom Davis
"Once you get them running, you stay right on top of them, and that way a small force can defeat a large one every time... Only thus can a weaker country cope with a stronger; it must make up in activity what it lacks in strength." - Stonewall
I tried Iowa and it sucked
All I saw was Kirk Ferentz running it up the middle until his linemen collapsed from exhaustion.
"Once you get them running, you stay right on top of them, and that way a small force can defeat a large one every time... Only thus can a weaker country cope with a stronger; it must make up in activity what it lacks in strength." - Stonewall
I tried Iowa and it sucked
All I saw was Pat Angerer becoming Angriererer because his corn crop failed again
"Once you get them running, you stay right on top of them, and that way a small force can defeat a large one every time... Only thus can a weaker country cope with a stronger; it must make up in activity what it lacks in strength." - Stonewall
I tried Iowa and it sucked
All I saw was an Iowa fan bragging about his proper use of sentences
"Once you get them running, you stay right on top of them, and that way a small force can defeat a large one every time... Only thus can a weaker country cope with a stronger; it must make up in activity what it lacks in strength." - Stonewall
by ReadingRambler on Dec 4, 2009 12:53 AM EST reply actions 1 recs
I tried Iowa and it sucked
All I saw was a train going really, really fast as soon as it entered Iowa so it could exit Iowa
"Once you get them running, you stay right on top of them, and that way a small force can defeat a large one every time... Only thus can a weaker country cope with a stronger; it must make up in activity what it lacks in strength." - Stonewall
I tried Iowa and it sucked
All I saw was Iowa starting off the Big Ten trend of losing to USC.
"Once you get them running, you stay right on top of them, and that way a small force can defeat a large one every time... Only thus can a weaker country cope with a stronger; it must make up in activity what it lacks in strength." - Stonewall
I tried Iowa and it sucked
All I heard was Ed Podolak getting wasted
"Once you get them running, you stay right on top of them, and that way a small force can defeat a large one every time... Only thus can a weaker country cope with a stronger; it must make up in activity what it lacks in strength." - Stonewall
I tried Iowa and it sucked
All I heard was Drew Tate bitching about, well, everything
"Once you get them running, you stay right on top of them, and that way a small force can defeat a large one every time... Only thus can a weaker country cope with a stronger; it must make up in activity what it lacks in strength." - Stonewall
by ReadingRambler on Dec 4, 2009 12:56 AM EST reply actions 1 recs
I tried Iowa and it sucked
All I saw was that Iowa video preview guy’s chest hair
"Once you get them running, you stay right on top of them, and that way a small force can defeat a large one every time... Only thus can a weaker country cope with a stronger; it must make up in activity what it lacks in strength." - Stonewall
I tried Iowa and it sucked
All I saw was Iowa fans forgetting that deserve’s got nothin’ to do with it.
"Once you get them running, you stay right on top of them, and that way a small force can defeat a large one every time... Only thus can a weaker country cope with a stronger; it must make up in activity what it lacks in strength." - Stonewall
I tried Iowa and it sucked
All I saw was Iowa fans calling Iowa State irrelevant after losing to Iowa State
"Once you get them running, you stay right on top of them, and that way a small force can defeat a large one every time... Only thus can a weaker country cope with a stronger; it must make up in activity what it lacks in strength." - Stonewall
I tried Iowa and it sucked
All I heard was a boring speech by Iowa’s boring politicans
"Once you get them running, you stay right on top of them, and that way a small force can defeat a large one every time... Only thus can a weaker country cope with a stronger; it must make up in activity what it lacks in strength." - Stonewall
I tried Iowa and it sucked
All I saw was Norm Parker trying to cover Anthony Gonzales with a linebacker
"Once you get them running, you stay right on top of them, and that way a small force can defeat a large one every time... Only thus can a weaker country cope with a stronger; it must make up in activity what it lacks in strength." - Stonewall
I tried Iowa and it sucked
All I heard was the sound of the wind blowing down the prairie
"Once you get them running, you stay right on top of them, and that way a small force can defeat a large one every time... Only thus can a weaker country cope with a stronger; it must make up in activity what it lacks in strength." - Stonewall
I tried Iowa and it sucked
All I saw was the Sauk and Fox tribe returning to their native homelands, then saying “Screw it, there’s too many Iowa fans here.”
"Once you get them running, you stay right on top of them, and that way a small force can defeat a large one every time... Only thus can a weaker country cope with a stronger; it must make up in activity what it lacks in strength." - Stonewall
I tried Iowa and it sucked
All I saw was Iowa arrogantly picking the presidential candidates
"Once you get them running, you stay right on top of them, and that way a small force can defeat a large one every time... Only thus can a weaker country cope with a stronger; it must make up in activity what it lacks in strength." - Stonewall
I tried Iowa and it sucked
All I heard was Anthony Morelli kicking their ass in 2007
"Once you get them running, you stay right on top of them, and that way a small force can defeat a large one every time... Only thus can a weaker country cope with a stronger; it must make up in activity what it lacks in strength." - Stonewall
I tried Iowa and it sucked
All I saw was Stanzi throwing to the wrong, wrong guy
"Once you get them running, you stay right on top of them, and that way a small force can defeat a large one every time... Only thus can a weaker country cope with a stronger; it must make up in activity what it lacks in strength." - Stonewall
I tried Iowa and it sucked
All I heard was Brandon Wegher saying “Trust me, I’m NOT from Iowa. I’m from South Dakota. Please don’t ever say that about me.”
"Once you get them running, you stay right on top of them, and that way a small force can defeat a large one every time... Only thus can a weaker country cope with a stronger; it must make up in activity what it lacks in strength." - Stonewall
I tried Iowa and it sucked
All I saw was Obama saying “Thanks, for the caucus victory. Now please don’t try to shake my hand. I like to keep healthy.”
"Once you get them running, you stay right on top of them, and that way a small force can defeat a large one every time... Only thus can a weaker country cope with a stronger; it must make up in activity what it lacks in strength." - Stonewall
I tried Iowa and it sucked
All I saw was James T. Kirk actually going into space because he was tired of eating corn
"Once you get them running, you stay right on top of them, and that way a small force can defeat a large one every time... Only thus can a weaker country cope with a stronger; it must make up in activity what it lacks in strength." - Stonewall
by ReadingRambler on Dec 4, 2009 1:03 AM EST reply actions 1 recs
I tried Iowa and it sucked
All I saw was an empty University of Phoenix Stadium
"Once you get them running, you stay right on top of them, and that way a small force can defeat a large one every time... Only thus can a weaker country cope with a stronger; it must make up in activity what it lacks in strength." - Stonewall
You have more than serious issues.
Black Shoes. Basic Blues. No Name. All Game.
"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the mouth."
He has serious issues and them some?
…or his issues are more than serious?
"I thought the kid we were using had the potential to be a good quarterback, and I blew that one." - Joseph V. Paterno
Yeah, right
Jtothep’s done this too.
But that’s beside the point.
WE NEED TO BRING ON THE HATE HATE HATE HATE
"Once you get them running, you stay right on top of them, and that way a small force can defeat a large one every time... Only thus can a weaker country cope with a stronger; it must make up in activity what it lacks in strength." - Stonewall
by ReadingRambler on Dec 4, 2009 9:15 AM EST up reply actions
just because you have more than serious issues
doesn’t mean jtot doesn’t as well
by The JuggerNitt on Dec 4, 2009 12:33 PM EST up reply actions
I stand with you my brother!
Issues, schmissues. Sorry late to the party.
I rec’d the Tennessee Williams, sentence structure and Drew Tate bitchiness.
"For me the game wasn’t grounded in reality. It was about the uniform you put on that turned you into a warrior. It was about the mythology of the battle, the victory, the defeat, the struggle." - Mike Reid, PSU '69
I know, can you believe those doucheas?
"Once you get them running, you stay right on top of them, and that way a small force can defeat a large one every time... Only thus can a weaker country cope with a stronger; it must make up in activity what it lacks in strength." - Stonewall
by ReadingRambler on Dec 4, 2009 9:22 AM EST up reply actions
Ok seriously, someone get Cairo to write an ACTUAL hate week post
I can’t wait until next September
"Once you get them running, you stay right on top of them, and that way a small force can defeat a large one every time... Only thus can a weaker country cope with a stronger; it must make up in activity what it lacks in strength." - Stonewall
Do i need more reason?
"A good plan violently executed now is better than a perfect plan executed next week. "
George S Patton
I don't think the hate is strong enough
So what would guys do this puppy if it were an Iowa puppy?
Come on. I’m sure some of you have eaten baby seal meat. Guiltlessly.
"Wow. You know you have problems when even the cheerleaders know you suck." ~ Pain in the Sash
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