Game 7! Beatch!

Will the Pens and their loveable diver triumph to the delight of a nation? (Estonia)

Or will Alexander "OH GOD MY KNEE!" Ovechkin triumph and dedicate the win to his father, Andre Roussimoff?

Is this whole thing being rigged by Bettman? (Probably)

Will anyone actually give a crap about hockey after this?

Is Bill Simmons right in his theory that Bettman was sent by David Stern to ruin the NHL?

Find out tonight!

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go find a feed on justin.tv.