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Half-assed Big Ten preview, part 9: Purdue

Right, so I'm bored and I've got nothing better to do, so I figured I'd try and preview the ten other Big Televen teams after doing as little research as possible. The point is to see if I my totally half-assed predictions are better than the crap you get from "experts". This will not be correct, and it won't be funny either. Done in alphabetical order, of course

NIT CHAMPIONS, BITCHES!!!!

THE STORY: Okay, uhh, Purdue sucked for a while, then Tillere came to town and made the spread work in the Big Ten. So kudos to you, you oatmeal lovin' son of a bitch.

Then they went to the Rose Bowl, then they lost to Wisconsin in a '04 after Neckbeard fumbled, now they suck again.

I think that's it.

YOUTUBE SAYS:

I can't find anything Purdue related that makes them look bad, so here's Penn State kicking the crap out of West Virginia in 1969.

GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH SAYS:

Tillycheese_medium

via assets.sbnation.com


THE COACH:

Danny Hope, who has a stache. I was not prepared to live in a world where the Purdue coach did not have a stache.

OFFENSE:

DEATH

DEFENSE

Run good, pass good, linebackers can't asdfas whatever.

SCHEDULE:

9/5 Toledo (Probable win)

9/12 at Oregon (Loss)

9/19 Northern Illinois (Tossup)

9/26 Notre Dame (Tossup)

10/3 Northwestern (Tossup)

10/10 at Minnesota (Probable loss)

10/17 Ohio State (Loss)

10/24 Illinois (Probable loss)

10/31 at Wisconsin (Probable loss)

11/7 at Michigan (Probable loss)

11/14 Michigan State (Probable loss)

11/21 at Indiana (Probable win)

BEST CASE SCENARIO:

7-5.

WORST CASE SCENARIO:

3-9.

PREDICTION:

3-1 in OOC play, losses in-conference to Minnesota, Ohio State, Illinois, Wisconsin, Michigan, and Michigan State. 5-7.

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