Half-assed Big Ten preview, Part 10: Wisconsin

Right, so I'm bored and I've got nothing better to do, so I figured I'd try and preview the ten other Big Televen teams after doing as little research as possible. The point is to see if I my totally half-assed predictions are better than the crap you get from "experts". This will not be correct, and it won't be funny either. Done in alphabetical order, of course.

Good for you, you made it to the end of this crap! You get nothing!

http://www.blackshoediaries.com/2009/5/26/888394/half-assed-big-ten-preview-part-9#16226543

What was the first one, Illinois? Whichever it was, you put WAAAAYYY too much effort into it, and you set the bar too high for future posts, which quickly dropped off in content and detail, reaching a low point of Indiana and Minny.

Then maybe you should, I don't know, STOP READING THEM INSTEAD OF BOTHERING ME WITH YOUR PATHETIC COMPLAINTS.

THE STORY:

Up

The.

Middle.

YOUTUBE SAYS:

Because I couldn't find a clip of Mauti destroying their QB.

GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH SAYS:

THE COACH:

Bret Bielema plan for success:

Step 1: Run up the middle.

Step 2: Run up the middle.

Step 3: ?

Step 4: Call timeout, allowing other team to bring field goal unit onto field in an orderly fashion, instead of desperately rushing like they were.

Step 5: ?

Step 6: Profit!

OFFENSE:

Giant offensive linemen, good tight ends, monster tailback, white quarterback.

So, Wisconsin.  I really shouldn't go into that much detail beyond that.

QUARTERBACK:

Dustin Sherer. Or, as I call him, "The dude who's not as bad as Allan Evridge."

RUNNING BACK:

John Clay is the guy this year who will be sent into the trenches. From what little I saw of him last year, he appears to be the perfect Wisconsin back. Tough, straight line runner, with a burst that P.J. Hill lacked.. He had close to 900 yards last year as well.

Zach Brown is an excellent backup and third down/change of pace option.

OFFENSIVE LINE:

Good run blocking against mediocre teams, but then Aaron Maybin or any other fast defensive end flies by them on third down. Same as it has been the last few years. I swear they used to be a lot better at pass blocking.

TIGHT END:

I don't remember the guy's name. Anyway, he's pretty good.

WIDE RECEIVER:

David Gilreath. Then what?

DEFENSE:

Eh.

DEFENSIVE LINE:

They generated little pressure last year, and now they're without three starters. The only bright news is the return of O'Brien Schofield.

So, yeah.

LINEBACKERS:

Jaevery McFadden is the only one back. So, they won't be as good either.

SECONDARY:

Safeties and one cornerback return, but Allen Langford is gone.

SCHEDULE:

9/5 Northern Illinois (Win)

9/12 Fresno State (Probable win)

9/19 Wofford (Win) (When I think tough OOC scheduling, I think Wisconsin.)

9/26 Michigan State (Tossup)

10/3 at Minnesota (Tossup)

10/10 at Ohio State (Probable loss)

10/17 Iowa (Tossup)

10/31 Purdue (Probable win)

11/7 at Indiana (Win)

11/14 Michigan (Probable win)

11/21 at Northwestern (Tossup)

12/5 at Hawaii

BEST CASE SCENARIO:

Losses to Ohio State and Michigan State. 10-2.

WORST CASE SCENARIO:

2-2 in OOC play, losses in-conference to Michigan State, Minnesota, Ohio State, Michigan, and Northwestern. 5-7.

PREDICTION:

EDIT: This is a team, that, in my opinion, should go 9-3. But Bielema will cost them one game, and turnovers and such will cost them the other. Or, hell, maybe Brett'll cost them both.

4-0 in OOC play, losses in-conference to Minnesota, Michigan State, Ohio State, Iowa, and Northwestern. 7-5.

P.S.

DC-17 FIST PUMP!!!!!