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Lessons for a Young Drinker


The offseason here has been pretty cool.  We've cathartically expressed some hate, professed quite a bit of (bacon) love, and learned a few things along the way.  One of which was the generational aspect of our little neighborhood.  The What it Means to be a Penn Stater post showed me just how many 'younger' readers we have to complement the aging legions of we Elders.  So when I read this Esquire article Lessons for a Young Drinker, I thought it could be a worthy share for those with an open mind.  Plus, this opening paragraph was pretty captivating:

Look, drinking is pretty damned fun. This must be said. Yes. Women look better. The ocean looks bluer. We know. And your jokes? Way better, right? Man, laughs are just way better. I mean, right? You just start to like where you are, no matter where that is. It can make you good with the world. And this really can be a good thing. Seriously.

Drinking makes up a slice of of the Penn State experience for many of us, and I've learned quite a bit about drinking through my years of experience (experiments?).  At 38, I feel wiser about it than I did in my early twenties.  I particiularly agree with this practice:

Observe yourself and take notes. That's a key to drinking: don't stop looking. When you are less drunk than everyone else, look around. When you are more drunk than anyone else, look at your own dumb ass in the mirror.

And have also learned the value of this one:

Quit. For some period of time, anyway. A week. A month. Three years. Whatever it takes. Just walk away. Study the absence. Feel it. In some ways, you'll find you're right back on the outside. Know what it means to not drink, too.

Plus, Chiarella's one of my favorite writers, and I dug how he pitched this one.  So, hopefully you can get something out of it. too  Lemme know if you do.  Or didn't. 

Or better yet: post up some of your own personal lessons learned.  For or by Young or Old.

Poll
The best lesson I ever learned about drinking was:
at a Penn State Tailgate
3 votes
from waking up in the gutter one morning
22 votes
learned at the Right Hand of Zug the Father Almighty
17 votes
acquired through my own actions
45 votes
passed down to me by an Elder
3 votes

90 votes | Poll has closed

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0 recs  |  Comment 28 comments

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That was good

The best thing I learned about drinking is that you don’t have to drink so much to get drunk to have a good time, getting drunk shouldn’t be the goal of a night out. The drinks should be a complement to the fun night out. That way, you’re less likely to do something really stupid and outrageous.

"Want a donut go to dunkin donuts, want a linebacker go to Penn State."
- Cris Carter, NFL Draft, 4/25/09

by kmblue on Jun 7, 2009 5:15 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

I agree...

…with absolutely nothing you just wrote.

by The Mess on Jun 7, 2009 10:14 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Good for you

How old are you, 20? 21?

When you grow up, you’ll understand what I said.

"Want a donut go to dunkin donuts, want a linebacker go to Penn State."
- Cris Carter, NFL Draft, 4/25/09

by kmblue on Jun 8, 2009 7:20 AM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Amen sister

"The sea was angry that day, my friends." G. Costanza

by NJ lion on Jun 8, 2009 9:05 AM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Agreed with that

Try as hard as I can to not get drunk, but stay in the drunk/tipsy zone. That way I still got complete control on my thoughts and actions and don’t say AS stupid stuff

by WPIALkid22 on Jun 8, 2009 11:29 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Drinking before Penn State Games

I will never forget partying so much one time that i missed a 12:00 kick off for a Minnesota Game. I managed to wake up around two but could not stay awake to watch the game. Lesson is that now i will not seriously party the night before a Penn State game.

by b598650 on Jun 7, 2009 6:24 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Tequila

try it, shoot it, love it while you can/ because if she ever makes you sick you will never be able to drink it again

Because it's a Bowl Game!!
-My wife when asked why she didn't tell me she was having contractions Jan. 1 2007

by Grainey on Jun 7, 2009 7:17 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Absolutely Amen to That

While a quality margarita with fresh fruit can be tremendously refreshing, I no longer can tolerate even the aroma of straight tequila.

While at PSU, I performed what can only be described as a pseudo-puke: just a quick, minor retch that brought up the fumes and taste of a few downed shots, flooding my mouth, nose, sinus cavities, and probably my eustachian tubes with the essence of fermented guava.

It only lasted an instant, but that was it – I’m scarred for life.

I actually got a bit queasy just reliving it here. Ugh.

'People are about as happy as they decide they want to be'

by Pete the Streak on Jun 7, 2009 7:46 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Southern Comfort for me

I woke up under the sink in another dorm on campus. That’s about alls I remember. Now I can’t stand the sight or smell of the stuff anymore. That’s the night I decided you didn’t have to drink SO MUCH to have fun. It’s as much (or more) fun remembering all the fun you hadand all the stupid stuff others did. Moderation is rad!

"The sea was angry that day, my friends." G. Costanza

by NJ lion on Jun 7, 2009 10:00 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

And

the more sober you are, the better able you’ll be to take pictures and get all of the incriminating evidence of everyone else doing something stupid!

"Want a donut go to dunkin donuts, want a linebacker go to Penn State."
- Cris Carter, NFL Draft, 4/25/09

by kmblue on Jun 8, 2009 9:20 AM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

I love a devious woman.

Unless you’re taking pics of me.

'People are about as happy as they decide they want to be'

by Pete the Streak on Jun 9, 2009 6:23 AM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Vodka is my curse

and I think the most common “bad memories” drink people have, cuz it is usually the first thing people drink due to it’s essential non-taste. Definitely easy to overdo it, though.

by The JuggerNitt on Jun 8, 2009 1:19 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

yeah
Southern Comfort for me

"It was an attrition football game and you know we like that."

by showtime on Jun 8, 2009 7:44 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

We should've had a different poll

Which alcoholic drink scares the crap out of you? (which one would you absolutely never have)

by WPIALkid22 on Jun 8, 2009 11:31 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

My #1 lesson learned

is don’t drink while on medication. I literally woke up in a gutter the next morning, and all 3 or 4 of my “blackout” nights were all around the same time on the same medication.

Also, I definitely agree with the “don’t drink to get drunk”. You can have a good time while drinking, but don’t just force the drinks down your throat in order to get drunk faster. Just drink at a reasonable pace, and if the party goes long enough you still may get drunk, but at least you’ll have a good time doing it. I know plenty of people (most still college kids, obviously), who will try to get drunk as fast as possible, and then usually wind up ending their nights by being too drunk (or passed out), hours before everyone else. Heck, I know too many people that will pre-drink before a party (I understand before going to a bar, since you save money, but before a party????), get drunk, and then go to the party and make fools of themselves. So frustrating.

Other than that, the only other lesson, don’t friggen drive if you have been drinking more than a “little”. You don’t even have to feel a buzz in order to have your motor skills compromized, and as those commercials point out, buzzed driving is drunk driving. I know this sounds preachy, but it just isn’t worth it. Get a cab or something. A lifetime of getting cabs is cheaper than getting a DUI.

by The JuggerNitt on Jun 8, 2009 1:27 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

My personal experience

I’m 21 and am not the typical college drinker. I like drinking for quality not quantity, and typically just grab a six pack and bring it back to my room. Sometimes I wish I could drink like a lot of students at PSU, but from personal experiences, it’s really something I can live without. I’ve only been drunk a handful of times (actually all when I was underage), and those few times, I really didn’t enjoy the feeling of being wasted. I felt sick, dizzy, which far outweighed the “fun” of a lack of motor control and inhibitions, and the giggles. I’ve never felt the need to get plastered to go and see a concert or go to a game, because I actually enjoy remembering and having fun at the game or a performance instead of feeling sick or blacking out.

The “let’s blackout every weekend” attitude really pisses me off, because it’s left up to your friends to take care of you after you can’t handle yourself anymore. This year I was stuck in a supplemental dorm room (aka a lounge with beds), and the first weekend, the asshole of the roommates decided 16 shots of cheap vodka was a good idea. He had to have some of us and two of our friends from upstairs help him get up the two flights of stairs to our 2nd floor room. Then the two girls from upstairs spent half the night comforting him as he threw up in our sink and in our kitchen for an hour, and then were nice enough to clean it up. I start to get sick being around someone vomiting, even without drinking, so as soon as he started puking, I had to get out of there and walked around UPark for a few hours in the middle of the night. Not a great night for me (especially because the next day was a noon kick-off for football).

by dawsonPSU10 on Jun 8, 2009 10:17 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Don't be enablers.

Drag the guy upstairs to his bathroom, prop him ‘comfortably’ against his toilet, and let him go.

No, it isn’t mean. Actions have consequences. Waking up in a puke -filled bathroom sucks, but he’ll get the message much quicker than if he wakes up in his clean bed, with all barf evidence conveniently washed away by his friends.

It’s Tough Love. Not the Toughest Love, tho, if you don’t take the opportunity to elaborately decorate him with washable marker during his ‘down time’.

'People are about as happy as they decide they want to be'

by Pete the Streak on Jun 9, 2009 6:37 AM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Trust me

The guys in the room weren’t doing the enabling. We were all pissed he was making a mess in our kitchen that the rest of us needed to use. The girls were doing the comforting and cleaning, and volunteered to do so.

The good news, we got to see the kid for his true colors as the semester wore on (we didn’t have a clear picture in the first weekend when all that happened). After hitting on one of those girls, knowing full well she had a boyfriend and committed relationship, then acting as though he never heard about said boyfriend, and then blaming the rest of us, and the girl’s roommate for their relationship not working out, and after being shot down yet again by reality, proceeded to hit on and start going out with the girl’s LITTLE SISTER (a freshman, he was a junior). We slowly but surely realized how much of a douche bag he was. By the end of the semester not one of us was speaking more than single words to him, and we were constantly ripping on him behind his back and purposefully sneaking out and doing stuff without him, and had the same situation happened again, not one of us would have done anything for him other than make sure he doesn’t die in our room.

by dawsonPSU10 on Jun 9, 2009 1:12 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Did it look to you like they were cleaning

‘down there?’

When I say to a kid, ‘Hey, get ready to get knocked on your rear end,’ I also tell him, ‘Learn. Learn why you got knocked on your rear end. --jvp

by jtothep on Jun 9, 2009 1:37 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

at least he didn't piss in your fridge

that was the pinnacle of intoxication for our crew

Put a tarp on that circus!

"It was an attrition football game and you know we like that."

by showtime on Jun 9, 2009 7:01 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Thank goodness he didn't

otherwise, I guarantee we would have laid down the law, or at least thrown him from the second story of McElwain.

by dawsonPSU10 on Jun 10, 2009 1:01 AM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

I chewed my buddy out for it right after it happened and tried to make him clean it up

but he was a zombie and of course he got pissed and drove home!! Great! (sarcasm, I don’t condone drunk driving)

Is McElwain kind of next to the HUB? That sounds familiar like I might have had a girlfriend that lived there once.

"It was an attrition football game and you know we like that."

by showtime on Jun 10, 2009 7:45 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

I think it is across Shortlidge, right next to Simmons

I also think it is honors dorms now (or at least partly), or was when I was there

by The JuggerNitt on Jun 11, 2009 11:39 AM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

That's the one

McElwain used to have it’s own dining hall, but this was also the first year they closed that, so Simmons dining hall was where most of us went for lunch or dinner most nights.

by dawsonPSU10 on Jun 13, 2009 11:19 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Yeah

we were right across the street from the HUB. It’s a co-ed dorm now, but this was actually the first year that it was. It used to be an all-girls dorm before last year, so you may have had a girlfriend there.

by dawsonPSU10 on Jun 13, 2009 11:18 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

I'm stealing that for my sig.

It works on many levels and its time to move on from basketball.

"Even though it was bouncing, I knew it was so soft that it was just going to stay in," Battle said. "Then I ran around like a lunatic."

by bconway6 on Jun 10, 2009 1:41 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

haha I finally saw which part of that post you were gonna quote

I wasn’t sure which line was sig material.

"It was an attrition football game and you know we like that."

by showtime on Jun 15, 2009 7:23 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

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