FanPost

Because it's July: sorting my drunken PSU e-mail.


This is the most agonizing time of the year.  Work slows down and I have to occupy another seven weeks before I can enjoy PSU football.  I therefore took the time to organize my Drunken PSU e-mail.  For background: I and a group of friends email thoughts on PSU games just after the end of the game and before we get on the phones.  This typically means I send email while being mildly inebriated.  Looking back over the past seven years of e-mail, I run into some e-mail that make me wonder what the hell is wrong with my mind.

I've enclosed a few selections for no other reason than they make me laugh.  A bit self-involved?  Yeah...but I've got nothing else in July.  They range from semi-rational, to semi-inebriated, to clearly drunk, to "What the hell was I on when I wrote this?"

 

Aug-30-2008 (season picks)

Speaking of mediocrity...   Big East Pick: Pitt   I saw an guy at Dulles airport yesterday wearing a West Virginia football shirt who was pulled aside and wanded.  You know I'm against profiling, but I wholeheartedly agreed with TSA checking this guy out because WVU fans are a demonstrated credible threat to the public welfare and safety of all of us.  This offseasons big story: a d-bag decides in the end to go for the money.  Fans go apespit.  Cry me a river.  Although WVU has talent in spades, I just think this team would take a step back even if RichRod was still coaching there.  For now, I'm predicting a six-way tie between West Virginia, Pitt, Cincinnati, South Florida, Connecticut and Rutgers.  Through some unbelievable good fortune, the ninth tiebreaker will find Dave Wannstedt's 8-4 Pitt squad as the Big East champions and on their way to a BCS bowl.  Wannstedt celebrates by taking a dump and touching his poo, then watching it turn into gold once again.

Oct-21-2007

A far more interesting Andre Ware quote: "I have much respect for Anthony Thompson. He's a class guy.  I can't say that for all the players in that race."  Whaaaaaaaat???  I'd love to know that back story.  Maybe Tony Rice kicked Andre Ware in the junk.  If so, I applaud Tony Rice.

 

Oct-13-2006

Uga Verbal soundslike a PSU basketball recroot

 

Nov-5-2005

The funniest part of the game was the announcement of the Chevy Players of the Game: Tamba Hali and John Stocco.  How is that even possible?  One gets credit for destroying the other?  Stocco's rushing line: 13 attempts, -50 yards.

Incidentally, I was thinking about Miller Barber the other day.  Why is it that so many older PGA golfers have names that sound like Kentucky Derby horses?  Miller Barber, Art Wall, Gay Brewer, Tommy Bolt.  I'm surprised Skip Tomylou didn't play in the 1946 Miami Fourball.

 

Sep-18-2004

So, apparently Zac(h)k Mills was trying to go for another record.  Two weeks after running, catching, and passing for a TD, he tried to be the first guy to fumble a hike, fumble a handoff, fumble after a run, fumble after a sack, and fumble after catching a pass.  He came very close - f'ing kudos to him.

 

Nov-8-2003

We haven’t been this bad since 1931.  Unbelievable.  To put this in perspective: King Zog had yet to abdicate the mighty throne of Albania.  2003 PSU football will forever be known as the "King Zog" year.  Maybe we should put Shorty Miller in at tailback.  Of course, who would be our #3 QB?

David Kimball looked awful, Mo Humphrey looked like Hubert H Humphrey, and Calvin Lowry understands football about as well as I understand chinese.  I left the bar just after Northwestern tied it up 7-7.  I don’t even know why, but I just knew we had NO chance of winning that game after that.  But I thought we matched up well against Northwestern.  I’ll repeat that: I think we matched up well against… Northwestern.

 

Dec-2-2002

One thing I forgot to say about a Wimbledon-style 128 team playoff system:  The possibility of Rashard Edberg driving a team to a championship.  Rashard Edberg would be the ultimate athlete.

The sportsmanship, grace, and heart of 1988 Wimbledon Champion Stefan Edberg, genetically grafted with the toughness, escapability, and unpredictability of 2000 Penn State starting QB Rashard Kasey.  You can’t tell me there would be a better athlete than Rashard Edberg.  Plus, if he ever got caught beating up a policeman in Jersey, he could blame it on his Swedish-ness.

"Boston College!  UTEP!  It’s December Madness on CBS!  Live from the Itula Mili Bowl!"

If there's any consolation, I think I've tempered out over time.

You created a Fanpost! Good for you! Any content from a premium site will be deleted once we catch wind of it--as will any inappropriate content. If you simply want to share a link, quote, or video, please consider using Fanshots instead.