ESPN, clearly with a dearth of material to publish/report actual sports news on, has finally found the "perfect" spread QB. He's not a man, he is men. His best attribute? He has four of them, not just one like other pathetic mortal college quarterbacks. Who is this mysterious man, you ask? He is Tim Tebow. He's also Colt McCoy. But wait: he's also Sam Bradford. Satisfied? Of course not, because this man is also Terrelle Pryor.
Yes, that's right loyal BSD readers. As if tWWL didn't already drool enough over each of these four athletes, they've now made their own dreams and wildest sexy fantasies come true and assembled the ultimate ESPN spread offense QB Playboy centerfold that they can now hide under their mattress so their Mom doesn't find it . They have taken science fiction and turned it into reality by creating Frankenstein. No, not the guy with the green skin, endless amounts of stitches and bolts in his neck, but a being possessing the most orgasmic, drool-tastic features of their favorite college QBs, and combined them into one. Their monster contains:
The Heart of Tim Tebow,
The Head of Sam Bradford,
The Arms of Colt McCoy,
and the Ovaries...I mean Legs of Terrelle Pryor.
Tremble before it's awesome majesty here. ESPN is clearly trying to create a rival to the Almighty Zug, and I'm positive the Emperor is not amused...
Now please excuse me while I go vomit.