Fear This: Chris Jacquemain
by KevinHD on Sep 1, 2009 9:00 AM EDT
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Chris Jacquemain in the 2007 Rose Bowl
Editors' Note: This was originally designed as an ongoing preseason thing, only to be interrupted by the season. With no promises whatsoever about consistency, I'll save it for a player on any given team who might warrant a little extra attention. [Previously: Benn and Decker]
Do you want Fryes with that? Despite the SoS punch line that Akron has become, the school actually has a decent history of developing statistically successful quarterbacks. Butchie Washington was one of them, a one time school record holder, and also brought you this hilarious quote from an otherwise very interesting story:
During the summer, Butchie brought home a picture of LaVar Arrington, Penn State's monster outside linebacker.
"Mommy, you see this guy right here?" Butchie asked his mother. "He is going to be after me. They tell me that this guy jumps over everybody to get to the quarterback."
Edna didn't know what to tell her son. She just gave him the best advice she knew.
"Butchie, the only thing I can tell you to do is run for your life," Edna replied. "Run for your life, baby. Drop the ball, do something. I don't care what you do, as long as you don't let him hurt you."
He was followed by Charlie Frye, who averaged over 2,700 yard per season in his four years as a starter. Luke Getsy came next, throwing for over 3,500 yards in 2005 and then putting up 2,600 more in 2006 which included an outing against Penn State that consisted of these embarrassing stats: 22 for 49, 3.81 YPA (!), 1/2 ratio, 5 sacks and a rating of 49.7.
Jacquemain seems to be of the same cloth as those that came before him. He tossed for 2,748 yards with a 20-14 ratio. He gets two solid options back in Deryn Bowser and Andre Jones (1 & 2 in WR team yards last year), plus benefits from two of the better lineman in the MAC in tackle Corey Woods and guard Zach Anderson.
Akron's record was doomed by a troublesome defense, finishing in the 90s in points and yards allowed; this largely overshadowed his strong performance against most of the conference.
But against the #2 and #3 scoring defenses in the MAC he turned in ratings of 37.0 (!) and 30.5 (!!!) (as a point of reference: in 2006 QB14 turned in 106 yards against Ohio State, a 4.2 ypa, a 0/3 ratio with 2 sacks, and still managed a 33.5).
He had his high points, though:
Played what head coach J.D. Brookhart said was Jacquemain’s "most complete game" at Wisconsin, completing 22-of-36 passes for 227 yards and two touchdowns with no interceptions.
Which probably looked better at the time. And:
Backed that performance by being named MAC East Offensive Player of the Week in the Zips’ win at Syracuse.
So he has BCS conference experience, even if that statement comes with caveats.
You may remember me from such filmstrips as Locker Room Towel Fight: the Blinding of Larry Driscoll. You'll never believe this, but YouTube is a bit light on quarterback highlights from the 59th most efficient quarterback in the nation that played for the 5th best team in the MAC East. Sorry?
Personality Check. Well first this detail: his last name is pronounced jack-QUAH-main. This detail second:
MAC-Sports: If you can have one animal be extinct, which would it be?
Jacquemain: Mosquitoes, gnats and flies.
Or three animals, whatever. That's the highlight from the interview.
The Penn State Extrapolation. This has turned into a bit of a chronicle but there are two major themes here:
- Akron has traditionally enjoyed airing the ball out and is likely to do it again with a strong-armed senior calling the plays and their top two receivers back.
- Akron consistently seems to gain a lot of yards against weaker and average competition and totally flop when matched up against a strong defense.
For all our worries about the secondary, and I think my concerns are a bit higher than the mean, how far down the chain are we really sweating here?
Fear This? No, but mostly because it's Akron. Here's what I like, though: the quarterback is talented if perhaps a bit over-matched. The receivers will be comfortable and confident after last year's success. At least half the line is considered good at what they do. All of this means our Wallaceless secondary will get a bit of a test so long as our thin but nasty front seven don't completely dominate from the get-go.
It should be interesting. I guess that's all I'm saying.
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"Oh my God, what a play!"
DO YOU HAVE PRIDE, DANNY?
by ReadingRambler on Sep 1, 2009 12:18 PM EDT up reply actions
Roo Bars
During my first trip to Australia back in ‘91, I was prepping for a trip into the outback to Ayers Rock. When I told some aussie friends, they warned me: watch out for roos. ’Does your ute have a roo bar,’ they asked. ‘Definitely do not swerve to miss them. If you’re going 140k, you don’t want to risk swerving and wrecking in the bush four hours from help. You’ve got to mow them down.’ So, I made sure our rental van had one of these:
I also went ahead and made sure our defense has one too:
"For me the game wasn’t grounded in reality. It was about the uniform you put on that turned you into a warrior. It was about the mythology of the battle, the victory, the defeat, the struggle." - Mike Reid, PSU '69
The advice sounds particularly funny
as I read it aloud using my best Aussie accent.
Bacon is almost as great as being a Penn Stater
I know right?
Still, it’s never as bad as them trying to do a yankee accent. Zug bless em!
"For me the game wasn’t grounded in reality. It was about the uniform you put on that turned you into a warrior. It was about the mythology of the battle, the victory, the defeat, the struggle." - Mike Reid, PSU '69
MAC schools are funny
MAC-Sports: If you can have one animal be extinct, which would it be?
Jacquemain: Mosquitoes, gnats and flies.
As Kevin pointed out that is 3, and I believe they all fall in the insect realm. Furthermore everyone who went to a B10 school knows we should get rid of bears, rattlesnakes, or sharks. All 3 of which are in fact animals, and all much scarier than those mentioned above.
Success without honor is an unseasoned dish; it will satisfy your hunger, but it won't taste good.
Just sayin...
http://www.uen.org/utahlink/activities/view_activity.cgi?activity_id=3016
Also, remember NO ONE suspects the butterfly…
by ChrisHarrell's_stache05 on Sep 1, 2009 9:40 AM EDT up reply actions
I respectfully disagree
I’m sure West Nile Virus, Malaria, and other biting-insect-bourne diseases kill way more people than bears, rattlesnakes, and sharks. Plus, when I hike in bear and snake country or swim in the ocean, I feel a little bad-ass knowing there are animals like those that could kill me. If a skeeter carrying West Nile is buzzing around though, I feel girly batting it away. Get rid of the bugs that bring nothing to the table and steal my manhood.
Bacon is almost as great as being a Penn Stater
There are manhood stealing mosquitoes out there?
I better call UPS, and check the status of my package.
"For me the game wasn’t grounded in reality. It was about the uniform you put on that turned you into a warrior. It was about the mythology of the battle, the victory, the defeat, the struggle." - Mike Reid, PSU '69
which MAC school did you attend?
Success without honor is an unseasoned dish; it will satisfy your hunger, but it won't taste good.
I don't feel like looking my comment up
but I did the research for you people before on this subject, and mosquitoes are responsible for more human deaths than people murdered every year. I’m willing to be that number also is far, far greater than bear, shark, and rattlesnake deaths combined (the mosquito death toll was well over 2 million if I remember right)
Done
For you. Searched ‘Dawson Mosquitoes’ Result returned, and posted in 35seconds.
"For me the game wasn’t grounded in reality. It was about the uniform you put on that turned you into a warrior. It was about the mythology of the battle, the victory, the defeat, the struggle." - Mike Reid, PSU '69
Buggy has
Inspired me to Service.
"For me the game wasn’t grounded in reality. It was about the uniform you put on that turned you into a warrior. It was about the mythology of the battle, the victory, the defeat, the struggle." - Mike Reid, PSU '69
^THIS^
But angry mother cougars pwn them all.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7MuFDVEUro
(Why the dance music…I don’t know)
DO YOU HAVE PRIDE, DANNY?
by ReadingRambler on Sep 1, 2009 12:20 PM EDT up reply actions
That was fun. New respect for both (not that either needed any more).
The bear approached with his head down to protect his neck. That was cool.
The cougar did a nice job of not over-committing at any point, and the swats in the ass during retreat were hilarious.
All together now, “mother cougars sound….”
Bacon is almost as great as being a Penn Stater
Truly masterful combat tactics on her part
She, as you said, did not over-commit (as she was vastly out-gunned). Instead, she used just enough force to make the bear (who seemed to be as hesitant as, say, a George McClellan) think the cougar had much more power than she really had. And she followed it up with a strong attack on the bear’s rear guard turning an orderly retreat into a near-rout.
That cougar is Robert E. Lee at the Seven Days. Lovely.
DO YOU HAVE PRIDE, DANNY?
by ReadingRambler on Sep 1, 2009 1:15 PM EDT up reply actions
With all due respect to that mother cougar
That was the pussiest bear I ever did see. And don’t think I haven’t seen a few bears in my time (really only Bart the Bear, in The Edge)
I think if I were a bear, was hungry and a little cougar cub presented itself as a yummy snack, damn if I’ma let his momma deter me from said snack. Just roll the b*tch! You’re a bear, for zug’s sake!
"For me the game wasn’t grounded in reality. It was about the uniform you put on that turned you into a warrior. It was about the mythology of the battle, the victory, the defeat, the struggle." - Mike Reid, PSU '69
As I said
That bear is George B. McClellan.
DO YOU HAVE PRIDE, DANNY?
by ReadingRambler on Sep 1, 2009 1:19 PM EDT up reply actions
Nice Simpsons reference
I could be wrong, but is that from the episode where Selma marries Troy McClure?
On the actual game topic...
I foresee this game being one of those where we play a vanilla defense and give up a fair amount of yards but few points. At the end of the day, reporters will ignore the 40 point margin of victory and say “oh my god, Penn State gave up 400 yards passing to Akron”. The best part of this situation will be on the following Tuesday when someone asks Paterno about this stat in his press conference and he gives the classic, “I am going to answer that question as if you know what you are talking about, but I don’t think you know what you are talking about”.
by cpm126 on Sep 1, 2009 10:19 AM EDT reply actions 1 recs
I told you guys that that Jack Mean was pretty good. He really threw the ball around and the whole bit. I tell you, we’re gonna have a heckuva time with that Paulus and Syracuse. And Syracuse has a lot of great tradition. Jim Brown and guys like that.
DO YOU HAVE PRIDE, DANNY?
by ReadingRambler on Sep 1, 2009 10:27 AM EDT up reply actions
Apropos of nothing
I finally saw The Express the other night. Good stuff.
"For me the game wasn’t grounded in reality. It was about the uniform you put on that turned you into a warrior. It was about the mythology of the battle, the victory, the defeat, the struggle." - Mike Reid, PSU '69
Just got that netflix’d to me last night, hoping to get to it before Thursday.
Order your copy of "We Are Penn State" The offseason is long. So is this magazine.
Really well-cast
Can’t tell you their names, but the cats playing Davis & Jim Brown were fantastic. Dennis Quaid as Coach Schwartwenwalderbendersteiininlager? Not as stellar, but also fine.
Let us know what you think.
"For me the game wasn’t grounded in reality. It was about the uniform you put on that turned you into a warrior. It was about the mythology of the battle, the victory, the defeat, the struggle." - Mike Reid, PSU '69
Rob Brown plays Ernie Davis
There’s clearly significant holding going on in the quick shot they had of Davis scoring on Penn State in one of the game montages.
Aye
Took a licking. Think it was ’59. 34-6?
"For me the game wasn’t grounded in reality. It was about the uniform you put on that turned you into a warrior. It was about the mythology of the battle, the victory, the defeat, the struggle." - Mike Reid, PSU '69
If I could have one animal become extinct....
maybe the wolverine? Or our cousin….the golden panther!
by PaJoe on Sep 1, 2009 12:03 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
The better question: if you could have an extinct animal come back to life what would it be?
This is a tough question for me. I’d say a dinosaur of some kind, because I’ve always loved dinosaurs, but that could get all Jurassic park on us, although it would be nice to see humans humbled for once instead of thinking they’re the greatest thing since they figured out how to slice bread.
But even more, I think they should bring back mountain lions (which technically aren’t extinct, but aren’t in the area) to the PA area again. There are way too many deer with no predators, and I would love for there to actually be actual live Nittany Lions roaming in the hills of the Nittany Valley. I feel guilty they’re not here anymore every time I walk by the last live Nittany Lion stuffed and on display in the Library.
Good news for you then
Cougars appear to be moving back east (There’s always reports of them in Illinois, Indiana, and Kentucky), and there have been rumors of their presence in PA. Certainly the incredible number of deer in the state could help things. However, I’d be very, very surprised if they come east of the Allegheny Plateau.
As for me, I’d love to bring back the Passenger Pigeon. Their flocks were so thick it was said you could knock some down simply by throwing a log into the air. Sadly, their mass collective breeding pattern (even if many were killed by predators, there would still be some left) turned out to be their downfall, as professional hunters shot them down for meat (which was sold in large cities).
Honorable mention goes to the Eastern Elk. I’ve always been intrigued by them, since it appears they may be one of the few species that started to go extinct BEFORE European settlers.
DO YOU HAVE PRIDE, DANNY?
by ReadingRambler on Sep 1, 2009 12:27 PM EDT up reply actions
Cougars
sound WAY HOT!
I bleed Blue and White.
by Horse N Buggy on Sep 1, 2009 12:33 PM EDT up reply actions
Yay, Cougars and Mountain Lions, oh my
Then we can have more of these kinds of occurrences.
"For me the game wasn’t grounded in reality. It was about the uniform you put on that turned you into a warrior. It was about the mythology of the battle, the victory, the defeat, the struggle." - Mike Reid, PSU '69
Graham Zug vaporizes cougar after it attacked him on hike up Mount Nittany!
DO YOU HAVE PRIDE, DANNY?
by ReadingRambler on Sep 1, 2009 12:36 PM EDT up reply actions
By David Jones
"For me the game wasn’t grounded in reality. It was about the uniform you put on that turned you into a warrior. It was about the mythology of the battle, the victory, the defeat, the struggle." - Mike Reid, PSU '69
Did you ever watch that show?
Six Feet Under? Right up there with The Wire for the best show ever on television. Every episode they had what the writers called a ‘Cold Opening,’ where somebody dies and the deceased gets woven throughout the episode in some way. Sometimes it was a real mundane passing with no drama, other times it was some esoteric freak accident like a woman partying out the roof of a limo and getting her head smashed. When this mountain lion mauled this dude, Wifey and I jumped out of our chairs and then howled in laughter. Scared the shite out of us.
"For me the game wasn’t grounded in reality. It was about the uniform you put on that turned you into a warrior. It was about the mythology of the battle, the victory, the defeat, the struggle." - Mike Reid, PSU '69
Never seen it
DO YOU HAVE PRIDE, DANNY?
by ReadingRambler on Sep 1, 2009 12:43 PM EDT up reply actions
That is good news (to me anyway, I'm sure farmers are none too pleased)
I hope they make it back up to PA.
Passenger pigeon is an interesting choice. Although, I tend to be a softy for any animal hunted to extinction, or at least regional extinction by humans.
btw, why the Zug would you throw a log at a flock of birds? Wouldn’t a rock or a stick work better? A log just seems excessive to me.
It may have been a rock
I don’t remember.
DO YOU HAVE PRIDE, DANNY?
by ReadingRambler on Sep 1, 2009 12:41 PM EDT up reply actions
I chose Passenger Pigeons simply because I’d love to see the flocks. It was said a single flock could fly over for more than a day.
DO YOU HAVE PRIDE, DANNY?
by ReadingRambler on Sep 1, 2009 12:42 PM EDT up reply actions
Yeah, I swear on my life I saw a cougar/mountain lion/gigantic stray cat
In the woods not too far from my house in rural central PA. Scared the living crap out of me, even though I was driving in my car at the time.
Black Shoes. Basic Blues. No Name. All Game.
"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the mouth."
I'm also personally terrified
of Gigantic Stray Cats.
"For me the game wasn’t grounded in reality. It was about the uniform you put on that turned you into a warrior. It was about the mythology of the battle, the victory, the defeat, the struggle." - Mike Reid, PSU '69
It’s hard to tell, though, if the cougars in PA are wild or released.
(The ones, in the mid-west, however are considered to be quite wild by game commisions)
DO YOU HAVE PRIDE, DANNY?
by ReadingRambler on Sep 1, 2009 12:42 PM EDT up reply actions
Yeah I dunno
I just collected myself and considered it an omen for our season.
Black Shoes. Basic Blues. No Name. All Game.
"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the mouth."
If you had seen the cougar taking a leak (need a family friendly version for “piss”. “Hightowering”?) on a Buckeye tree, THAT would have been an omen.
DO YOU HAVE PRIDE, DANNY?
by ReadingRambler on Sep 1, 2009 12:46 PM EDT up reply actions
I know this is way late
and you probably won’t ever see it, but perhaps it was a bobcat?
They’re still definitely in PA, and I’ve even seen them in Jersey.
by The JuggerNitt on Sep 8, 2009 4:13 PM EDT up reply actions
"maybe the wolverine? "
We don’t really need badgers or gophers around either, but wolverines? The planet should be cleansed of their filthy hides.
"It was an attrition football game and you know we like that."
I miss Phil Hartman as Troy McClure in such animated shows as...
“You may remember me from such filmstrips as Locker Room Towel Fight: the Blinding of Larry Driscoll” Hysterical…
My favorite would be "You may remember me in such self-help videos as “Get Confident, Stupid!”.
ONLY ZUG DAYS 'TIL FOOTBALL!!!!!!
I bleed Blue and White.
by Horse N Buggy on Sep 1, 2009 12:25 PM EDT reply actions 9 recs
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