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Ah yes, the cryptic pressers.  Paterno had his weekly press conference yesterday and the news was mostly of the standard variety.  Some things of note:

• Wallace must have been on his very best behavior since earning a suspension for cutting class.  Paterno mentioned that he stands a chance of actually seeing the field on Saturday.
• Some freshman may "see some time."  I know it's still Paterno, but is this still news?
• There have been no decisions on redshirts yet.
• And of course we have to talk about practice, and the response was not yeah everyone does it: "We never use (the) 20 hours. If we go, we'll go maybe 17.5, 18 hours. So when they passed the rule, I don't know how many years ago, that you could only go four hours a day and 20 hours a week, it never had any impact on us."

FWIW, the general disagreement is that there are other hours that aren't practice that may or may not have been implied as practice hours in that Freep story that everyone is all huba-huba about.  Joe doesn't really address that here, but he did do something you would expect from the champion of the Grand Experiment, something that is kind of getting lost:

I think kids are here to get an education. If you don't interfere with their education, you give them an opportunity to achieve success in the classroom, whether you practice 20 and a half hours a week or whether you practice 18 hours a week, I don't know what kind of a deal that is.

Eric Thomas has more bullets if you're interested, and tPN as well.  As always the full presser is here and game notes for those interested.

Let's hear it.  Your Saturday announcers will be Matt Devlin, Glen Mason, and this guy (H/T: AA):

But they don't take themselves too seriously.  The NYT did a story on The Bowdens and they were able to fill up almost the entire thing with arrogant quotes.  Terry Bowden came out firing:

"This game ain’t over yet," said Terry Bowden, who starts his first season as the head coach of Division II North Alabama on Saturday at Southern Arkansas. "There is nothing less important in life than the score at halftime. Well, it’s halftime with the Bowden family. I’m ready for the second half, and Dad has a finish on his career that has yet to be written."

And the Undeniables:

"Who else has three family members that coached teams that were undefeated in Division I? Who else had a father-son coach at the same time, or coach against each other? Nobody, and they never will. Who has 70 years of head coaching in one family and 500-and-something wins? Darn it, heck with y’all."

Who else walked out on their team mid-season after being criticism for recruiting no-nos?  Who else was fired mid-season after 9 years and no top-20 finishes at a BCS program?  Who else can't keep a job working for their own dad at a program he apparently owns?  Who else built a large part of their reputation at Samford?  Nobody.

And this is too perfect:

Bowden has signed 25 Division I transfers to help make up for the loss of 15 starters from last season’s 12-2 [North Alabama] team.

[...]

Seven transfers are on the roster from Florida State alone, including Preston Parker, a leading receiver for the Seminoles in 2008. He was dismissed from Florida State after being arrested and charged with driving under the influence. That came after an arrest on drug and weapons charges prompted a two-game suspension to start the season.

So we can add this to the list: who else is building a D2 program on the backs of Criminoles who somehow build a rap sheet that FSU couldn't even take on?  Nobody.

"We’ll go up against anybody right now, and we’re going coaching," Terry Bowden said. "We’re not apologizing for nothing."

Of course you're not.

One game at a time.  No need to worry about 2010 draft picks now, but you kinda already have a feeling it might end like this way:

Royster said he would consider leaving early even if he isn't evaluated as a first-round draft pick.

"At the end of the year, I'll weigh my options, see who else is coming out and stuff like that," Royster said. "I mean, it's gonna take a pretty good year for me. It's hard to say exactly what kind of year, but I'll talk to some people at the end of the year, definitely my parents, and weigh my options."

Don't let it come to this. Rittenberg on Penn State's week one:

Whether it's fair or not, everyone expects a blowout here, and Penn State needs to deliver. The Lions' schedule forces the team not only to win, but win in very impressive fashion.

There is no question that it isn't "fair".  It's not fair to the winning team, who should only ever have to win, and it's not fair to the paycheck team, who just want to get their money and save face.  No one benefits from 70-point blowouts unless pollsters decide they'll start factoring that into their vote.  They don't have to do this.

And besides, while games have gotten lopsided at times, Paterno is not the kind of guy to keep the starters in and throw bombs in the 4th quarter of a 30-point game.  If the only way Penn State can "win" is to win by eight touchdowns and three field goals every week, I don't like our chances.

It's brilliance.  Nothing to add:

That's TNIAAM, but you knew that.  He's full of satire this week.

In scores of other games...RmN's computer likes Penn State...pure gold for Onion fans courtesy of BHGP...Bowman fluff, it's good for you.