FanPost

Welcome back, casual Penn State football fan

Well, well, well. Good to see you again. What's that. That building next to Beaver Stadium? Oh, that's just the Bryce Jordan Center. It's where the basketball team plays. You've never heard of our basketball team? Oh.

How about that Michigan State game last year? I loved it when the players gave Bradley a rose! What's that? You weren't there? You left after the first quarter? Because it was cold? No? Oh, you left to beat all that traffic. That's nice.

Well, anyway, it's nice to see you. Wait, what? You think the White Out is immature? You think we should be more classy and refined like Michigan fans? Oh.

You suck.

You only come to games against cupcakes because "the fans are just too wild during Big Ten play!"

You don't know who Graham Zug is.

You think bacon is overrated and you don't understand our obsession.

"Thank God they got rid of that chicken sandwich in State College! Hopefully, they'll eliminate the grilled stick thing!", you say.

"Who's 'S.O.A.?'", you say.

"What's with that dog you keep posting?", you say.

And when, driving your fancy BMW, you see one of us usual "Too country" PSU fans, remember to brag about owning the same brand of car as Joe while we struggle along in our sub-compact that's just cheap enough.

But, hey, at least you're here at BSD. You'll leave before the bowl game because we're too wild. We might even be worse than those awful students that have that awful Camp Paterno or whatever it's called! Also, remember to delete your browser history so your snotty Ivy League grad friends don't know you visited a weblog. shudder.

We hope you've enjoyed the previews and such you'll find this season. Remember, when we start posting about basketball in November, you don't have to read them. We won't mind.

But when you're sitting in your fancy seat (You're one of Mr. Curley's best friends, of course) with your fancy season ticket, that person just above you, firing up his or her section, getting old people off their old asses, screaming their asses off? That's us.

/satire

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