Welcome Back Casual Penn State Fan

by BSD on Sep 4, 2009 2:02 PM EDT in Football

(Thanks to Rambler for stealing my thunder.)

Hey there, casual Penn State fan. Where have you been? The last time we saw you you were turning off the Rose Bowl at halftime. You know, we didn't do too bad there in the second half. You should have stuck around.

Anyway, here we are the day before the Akron game and you're coming around here to see what kind of team we're going to have this year. Did you really think we were going to sum up the entire team outlook in one post for you? That ship sailed, buddy. You should have been here back in the dog days of summer. We don't wrap up your team position profiles in a nice package for you around here. If you want to hang with BSD, you need to come to class with your homework complete. We just tell you what changes from day to day.

But we'll try to help you out a little bit. We don't want you to feel stupid when you lean over to the guy sitting next to you and say you thought Sean Lee graduated. You see, he just redshirted last year while he rehabbed his knee. He's back now for his senior year.

And that's not LaVar Arrington trying to make a comeback by going back to school for his fourth year of eligibility. That's Navorro Bowman. He's just wearing No. 11 now.

And please, don't start yelling "Go D-Will!" on the opening kickoff. That's not Derrick Williams wearing No. 2. That's Chaz Powell. Don't be a doofus. I can't believe I'm helping you like this.

Now there are some things you should probably know. For one, you're not allowed to bring glass bottles to the tailgate party anymore. So unless you can find that Zima in a can, better leave it home. Oh, but what am I thinking? That glass bottle ban doesn't apply to you, because you pay the big bucks to park that BMW on the blacktop away from the riff-raff like us. So you're good there.

I'm sure you have looked up and down the schedule and you're just as disappointed as we are. Eight games is too much, and especially when it's filled with the likes of Akron, Temple, Syracuse, Eastern Illinois, and Indiana. There's no way you'll make it to that many games. So when you're looking to sell your Iowa tickets to go to a wedding of a daughter of one of your high school friends you haven't seen in 20 years, I think we can find someone willing to take those off your hands for you.

Anyway, I hope this helps.

Sincerely,
Your Friends at BSD

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i was at the Rose Bowl

i tried to leave at half time, but then i remembered i spent a small fortune getting there. oh, who am i kidding… i couldn’t get into the locker room to break Mark Rubin’s knees. sad face.

by nittanylion0 on Sep 4, 2009 2:20 PM EDT reply actions

I stayed til the bloody end and cheered myself sick

then I hung out with Jtot and had a beer and sulked until today

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member

by TheMightyErik on Sep 5, 2009 5:36 PM EDT up reply actions

I am glad....

you didn’t explain the importance of bacon and the almighty ZUG. That would have turned them away.

The casual fan might have understood “Blame Iowa” but none would know the “Blame Culey” thing!

Settle it on the field!

by PSUncle1981 on Sep 4, 2009 2:24 PM EDT reply actions

Explanation of...

“Rambler…”

/ enter your own risk

"...big hitter; the Llamma...long..."

by BlueWhiteLife on Sep 4, 2009 3:05 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs

not bad

By signing it BSD and including cool lines like ‘You should have been here back in the dog days of summer,’ I felt less talked-down to and my fragile (that’s Italian) little feelings ended up being included and not hurt.

"For me the game wasn’t grounded in reality. It was about the uniform you put on that turned you into a warrior. It was about the mythology of the battle, the victory, the defeat, the struggle." - Mike Reid, PSU '69

by jtothep on Sep 4, 2009 2:26 PM EDT reply actions

It was nothing, Mike

I’m used to Mr. Rosewater stealing my thunder, so I decided to try it myself.

DO YOU HAVE PRIDE, DANNY?

by ReadingRambler on Sep 4, 2009 2:28 PM EDT reply actions

I would never do anything so despicable!

In other news, I’m about to start a series of threads that breaks down each of the other Big 10 teams, except it’ll be filled with deviant, uninformative, and very funny material culled from Youtube and shoddy photoshopped Yahoo/Google/Bing images.

It’ll be wildly entertaining. Watch for it in up coming weeks!

by Mr. Rosewater on Sep 4, 2009 2:40 PM EDT up reply actions

/breathless

by jtothep on Sep 4, 2009 2:47 PM EDT up reply actions

Questions answered for Casual PSU Fans:

Casual Fan A: Who’s our QB?
Answer: His name is Daryll Clark. He started every game last year and performed wonderfully. He likes to Fist Pump.

Casual Fan A: What’s a Fist Pump? It sounds sexual.
Answer: BSD members see the Fist Pump (a clutched fist jabbing ceremoniously into the air) as a display of confidence and swagger.

Casual Fan B: Will we see the Spread HD this year?
Answer: Yes! We’re returning the same QB and RBs! And as long as Jay Paterno stays at the Offensive helm, look for it in the years to come.

Casual Fan C: Jay Paterno Must Go!
Answer: Hold on there, good buddy! JayPa’s is making great strides, and with the QBs recruited over the summer, it sounds like he’s gaining more and more clout in the college football world.

Casual Fan D: What!? Oh yeah, we beat Ohio State at Columbus last year and we went to the Rose Bowl. Forgot about that.
Answer: Quit smoking crack, son.

by Mr. Rosewater on Sep 4, 2009 2:54 PM EDT reply actions

Very good Q & A.

I have to say I was always one fo the people that said Jay Paterno must go. But after looking at last year and seeing how the recruiting went this summer I am now a fan of his. I this he has made great strides and I am want to see what he can do with the team this year. Was last year different because we had top WR or will this year be the same. That will tell a lot about him.

by jetskijoe on Sep 4, 2009 3:20 PM EDT up reply actions