Top ten reasons Penn State will lose to Michigan!

Concept stolen/borrowed/lifted from StoopsMyAss.

10. Because I had a weird dream last night. I've had dreams about Penn State football before. Who hasn't? Anyway, it was a night game. It was obviously this year's Penn State-Michigan game. It was being announced by, oddly enough, Brad Nessler and Gary Danielson. The truly weird part was that "Michigan" was wearing the uniforms of Iowa. They even had the same players. But they were still announced as Michigan and the scoreboard still said it was Michigan. So, whenever you think of this year's game with Michigan, you're going to think of Broderick Binns and Adrian Clayborn attacking our "offensive line". Again.

9. Because Matt McGloin might play. I mean, come on. Gimme a break, will ya?

8. Nate Stupar is truly becoming Nate Subpar. Gah.

7. McGloin might play. Are we starting Shane McGregor against Ohio State?

6. OMG! The last time Rich Rodriguez faced Joe Paterno in a night game, this happened! And do you really think McGloin is any better than Doug Strang?

5. Tradition! Tradition! Above all, tradition! Michigan has as much if not more tradition than anyone else in college football. Rich Rodriguez represents all of the best aspects of Michigan tradition. Nothing has changed at the U of M. Nothing at all. Nothing. Stop looking at me like that. It's true and you know it.

4. Mike Martin. Enough said. Or he is still injured? Because if he is, I know what #4 really is.

4. Penn State's offensive line. That's right: enough said.

3. Matt McGloin. Right, he can "wing it and fling it", but does he really think he can do that against Michigan's defense? We ain't talking Minnesota, we're talking Michigan. We're talking about a team with the greatest tradition in the history of college football. We ain't talking Minnesota, we're talking Michigan. They can sit down on the toilet and when they flush, it comes out on the other side of the pipes as a five star defensive recruit who is ready for combat. That's Michigan.

2. This game will be decided by a Robinson. As you know, there are two Robinsons involved in the greatest team in the history of college football's football program. Denard and Greg. One is, you know, pretty good and the other is not so pretty good. My theory is that RichRod, wizard that he is, will force/cause Denard and Greg to have several children. NTTAWWT, I guess. Each child will have all the greatness of Denard and all the horror of Greg. Yes, the children - twenty-one of them - will be representatives of Michigan football. So, if my theory is correct, Michigan football will be, like, playing for itself somehow. All of that tradition, history, and modern strength on the field at the same time. Hail to the victors indeed. I just blew my own mind.

1. Seriously, Denard Robinson. Need I say more?

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