Indiana football does not inspire any hatred in me, so I go back to basketball. FIRE SAM LICKLITER. Not my best effort, but I like it.
(To the tune of "Highwayman")
I am Ed Hightower. Many Big Ten coaches I did chide
Ego and whistle by my side
A young Tom Izzo lost his mind to my trade
And Melle Cornley was angered just by my shade
The Big Ten won’t retire me ‘till I’m eighty-five
So I am still alive.
I was Dick Honig. I was born with Huron’s tide
And with Coach Carr I did abide.
I screwed Joe’s Nitters in ‘02 and ‘05
I went aloft to screw teams from the mighty booth
And when Coach Carr got canned, with rage I was filled
But I am living still.
I was Sam Lickliter. I screwed Parkhill deep and wide
Where Knight and Penn State did collide
A place called Rec Hall sure had one wild tremolo
The Big Ten shipped me to the old ref’s tomb below
They buried me in that great tomb that knows no sound
But I am still around..I'll always be around..and around and around and
around and around……
I fly a starship across the Universe divide
And when I reach the other side
I'll find a place to screw those Nitters if I can
Perhaps I may become Ed Hightower again
Or I may simply be in the ACC
But I’ll screw someone
And I'll be back again, and again and again and again and again..