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USC Ineligible for Coaches Poll Due to Probation

Allow me to respond on behalf of The University of Southern California... USC is the greatest collection of talent that has ever been assembled in the history of the free world, or in Soviet Russia for that fact. Accordingly, we resign from the coaches poll, because their failure to have us ranked number one in various polls over the past decade was clearly a result of jealousy of our manifest awesomeness. Also, in response to LeBron James not signing with USC as a free agent... LeBron James is afraid to compete on the highest level. If he chooses to let insignificant facts like, "USC is on probation" and "I don't play football" prevent him from signing a contract , I mean letter of intent, to play football for USC he is simply not the type of player we're looking for.

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