Top Ten Reasons for Penn State's loss to Alabama

by ReadingRambler on Sep 7, 2010 11:18 PM EDT

(Concept via StoopsMyAss. It will not be as funny. Maybe with practice...)

10. The Secret. Alabama football is built on a throne of lies. One young weirdo (Jay Paterno, Will Ferrell, or me) from a relatively unfunny movie is alway trying to expose the truth, but the men of Alabama still keep the secret intact. Even Fran Fisher is on the the conspiracy, saying something to the effect of, "The refs didn't call it a touchdown so it wasn't a touchdown." Lies! Matt Suhey scored on third down of the 1979 Sugar Bowl, but that fact will never bring us the stolen championship of 1978. Alabama will do anything to keep their mythology alive. Beating Penn State this year is just another battle in a long war against justice.

9. Robert Bolden...is going to....oversign...on pain! Enough said!

8. Our offensive line is going to oversign on sacks given up! Enough said!

7. Hillbilly jokes. Alabama is tired of hearing hillbilly jokes. They don't even make sense. Most of their starting players are African-American. We made fun of Terrelle Pryor and just look at the smashing OSU success that ensued last year. I expect a similar result this Saturday.

6. Bad nicknames. Terrible karma from this "RoBo" stuff. I know it.

5. The Man, The Myth, The Legend. Nick Saban. Enough said. And now for another link to that Finebaum clown.

4. The Michigan State experience. Nick Saban was head coach of the Michigan State Spartans for a little more than four years. He beat Joe Paterno twice. Nick Saban is sometimes gruff when speaking to the media. Nick Saban is Mark Dantonio. And Mark Dantonio is fired up for Penn State.

3. Joe Paterno is a selfish media whore. Joe Paterno loves media attention. Just look at all of the articles he generates with his selfish old man antics. He thinks - knows - that if he runs it up the middle for a touchdown late in the game, the Lions will win and the media will scream OLD STUBBORN ANTICS WORK. That's what Joe Paterno wants. Alabama has denied him before and they will deny him again.

2. The nickname "RoBo". I cannot stress this enough.

1. Matt McGloin and the Disastrous Chocolate Quarterback Factory. Enough said. Always trust a Michigan fan's opinion on Penn State's quarterbacks.

Honorable mention: Arrogance! I have a post ready to go in case of victory. It features Merle Haggard, Clint Eastwood, and Willie Nelson. The whole world knows it now and the world will punish little old Penn State for it.

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Rage naps

During this past spring (my final semester in grad school) I had to take a little thing called a rage nap every so often. I felt myself getting so angry that sleep seemed to be the only option. That or jail, I guess.

You sir are helping us all head for one great big rage nap in preparation for this week’s showdown. I’d like for said nap to begin some time around Thursday, after lunch. Wake up Saturday morning ready to recharge the HATE with Gameday, and we’re good to go!

Your anger makes us stronger

"I told him point blank, I wouldn’t trade January 2, 1987 straight up for Michigan’s entire football tradition." jesse.

"This was the greatest game in the history of college football." Rambler

I hold these truths to be self evident

by ChrisHarrell's_stache05 on Sep 8, 2010 12:13 AM EDT reply actions

Matt McGloin and the Disasterous Chocolate Quarterback Factory?

THAT’S RACIST!

/kidding

by dawsonPSU10 on Sep 8, 2010 1:06 AM EDT reply actions

Agreed.

@EpicTripod
SBN - Pittsburgh
Success With Honor

by Jeff Junstrom on Sep 8, 2010 6:36 AM EDT up reply actions

should I write another "Are you there, God?" post?

"Life is no way to treat an animal"

by Mr. Rosewater on Sep 8, 2010 4:48 AM EDT reply actions

yes, please

Until our defense proves otherwise, it should be presumed they will be excellent.

by jtothep on Sep 8, 2010 8:04 AM EDT up reply actions

Question about the 1979 Sugar Bowl

I haven’t seen the game but you said Suhey scored on 3rd down. In today’s Inquirer there is an article where Paterno states

“It was one heck of a football game, defensively,” Paterno recalled. “Krauss made a heckuva play, although you can debate whether Suhey scored on second down.”

does anyone know which play that actually was?

I wouldn’t give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and laughed.

by psupride on Sep 8, 2010 8:25 AM EDT reply actions

link if you want to read the article

http://www.philly.com/philly/sports/homepage/20100908_Paterno_focused_on_this_year_s_Penn_State_matchup_with_Alabama__not_those_from_the_past.html

I wouldn’t give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and laughed.

by psupride on Sep 8, 2010 8:27 AM EDT up reply actions

It was third down.

I don’t remember what happened on first down. I think they were at the ten. On second down Fusina passed to Fitzkee who was stuffed at the one. Then Joe ran it up the middle. But it worked because Matt Suhey scored on third down.

"This is the last time we're going on the field tonight and we're going to bust our butts and stop them again and get this game over." - Mike Reid, 1970 Orange Bowl

by ReadingRambler on Sep 8, 2010 9:28 AM EDT up reply actions

thanks

I wouldn’t give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and laughed.

by psupride on Sep 8, 2010 11:47 AM EDT up reply actions

Watched it last night on the BIg Ten

It sure looked like Suhey was laying on players when he reached over and the ball definitely crossed the line. The refs had a VERY quick whistle, calling the ball dead before Suhey was close to being down or the play had stopped. If there had been replay back then, he would have scored.

by BMAN13 on Sep 8, 2010 10:28 AM EDT up reply actions