Will occur for me when I wake up and read that 5 PSU players are being investigated by the NCAA for (fill in the blank) and that the coaches may have known about aforementioned infraction(s). Until then… it’s all good. Success with honor doesn’t mean 9 and 10 win seasons every year.

writing frightening verse
to a bucktooth girl
in Luxembourg…

Sung to the tune of “Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want”

Good time for a coaching change
See the luck we’ve had,
Can make a good fanbase turn bad

So please, please, please
Let us, let us, let us
Let us, get a QB
This time

Haven’t had an offense in a long time
See the "O" we have
Can make a good team bad

So for once this season
Let us, get one QB
Lord knows, it will be the first time
Lord knows, it will be the first time

Panic on the streets of Lock Haven,
Panic on the streets of Bloomsburg,
I wonder to myself,
Could life ever be sane again?

“Morrissey is pathetic. He doesn’t eat meat, he doesn’t get laid, and he’s crying all the time. He’s like an 8-year-old kid whose dog gets run over every day at 4:30. He’s kind of an easy target.”

- Mojo Nixon