FanPost

ESPN - Breaking News

This just in from ESPN news. there has been a Joe Paterno sighting this morning. Paterno was seen taking a bag of trash out to the garbage can. Upon arrival at the receptacle, he paused and put his hand on his hip while contemplating whether to use his right hand to lift the lid or his left. After several moments, he turned to look at the seventeen national news teams with cameras and associated reporters and the countless local news teams in observation recording this news event.

In a related note, Mr. Rece Davis at the ESPN sports desk reported the incident live on Sportscenter whereupon he asked Mr. Kirk Herbstreit "What do you think he should have done, Kirk?"  Mr. Herbstreit responded with Mr. Paterno's obvious lack of concern for the environmental safety aspects of using a plastic grocery bag for garbage  rather than the biodegradable sack that environmentally conscious people would normally use.. Mr. Herbstreit commented "He should have known better and could have done more. Just putting the trash in the garbage can is not enough." 

As part of its community service, Sportscenter plans to continue to replay the incident every fifteen minutes for the next three days to ensure the public is made aware of these latest allegations. ESPN has added this explosive breaking news event to its bottom line feed on all its networks where it runs past the audience every 20 seconds.

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