I've been reading "Night before Christmas" all wee to students, and decided to rewrite it. Cheesy, but, whatever.
'Twas days before Christmas, and all over the net
Penn State fans were wondering, what coach will we get?
Countless days have passed since our main man got canned,
And a loyal assistant took the reins in hand.
Haters have come out and spewed their venom and vile,
Eager to jump on the negative pile.
But fans have been faithful, loyal and true.
Supporting their team in the white and the blue.
Coaches have coached, and players have played,
Hoping that news of scandals would fade
They’ve played at home and again on the road.
And through it all pride and courage they’ve showed.
The team has fought on with a win and some losses,
While we wondered the thoughts of university bosses.
When, what to our wondering eyes should we see,
But a head coach committee, led by Joyner, AD
6 men and women would search near and far
To find us the next Penn State coach superstar.
Weeks went by and no more info came,
But media and fans have shouted many a name;
"Now, Bradley! Now Clements! Richt, Munchak and Kelly!
Mullen! And Norwood! JayPa, LJ and Murphy!
To the jets, to planes, to New York, or is it Philly?
No facts, just these rumors all making me silly!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
Other teams through the coaching ranks how they flew,
Snagging up Golden and Urban Meyer too.
Fans have all wondered, when will we know?
And how many recruits will get up and go?
The players still practiced, to a bowl game they’re bound,
Though admittedly it’s not the biggest around.
They finished their finals, each paper and test
And practiced so hard before earning a rest.
Spider brought Santa to their last practice day
The secret to winning did he give away?
Now there’s time for relaxing with family and friends
Until this whole season in Dallas comes to an end.
The starting quarterback, well, it’s anyone’s guess
And we’re praying the offense won’t be a mess.
The defense is strong, led by D. Still
Just the thought of him makes C. Keenum ill.
This team will play hard, they’ve got to stay tough
They’ve got to show everyone they’ve got the stuff
Bradley and staff, they’ll lead on this team
Even with jobs in doubt, they’re going full-steam.
They’ll head down to Texas and show fans their heart
They’ll fight for the win, right from the start.
The media will focus on other things, so what?
This team will be ready to kick Cougar butt!
The fans will be cheering for the blue and the white,
Some there in person, others by TV light.
Penn State has great academics and football and heart,
Try as they may, haters can’t rip us apart.
Let others grumble and yell and say what they say
We know that pride will in Penn State will stay.
And through it all, we’ll rise above the hate.
Now all say it with me, WE ARE…. PENN STATE!!