FanPost

Final review before BHGP JUDGEMENT DAY 5/21 - Jtothep takes a look to the sky just before he dies


Individual review by weight after weeks of practice and blog posting. With estimated combat effectiveness ratings.

I am still coach. There was no Jimmy Chitwood "I stay if coach stays" moment. No, I flat out told you, "I am a legend in my own mind. You stay if I stay." I am James Cagney and you are Mae Clark with my grapefruit in your face. You bought in to my mindset and I commend you for it.

Listen to some metal to get yourself in the proper mood.

No more running scared. No more chastising from me. It's all up to you. Time to kill or be killed.

Die with your boots on!

125: Starter: Double amputee BSD Mike. Rating: 7/10. Since he's without both legs, I told Mike to concentrate on going all Robles with the upper body strength. The results were impressive. He went up against backup Mr. Rosewater (5/10) and dominated him every single time. Can he handle the pressure of BHGP?

133: Starter: Pete the Streak. Rating: 8/10. I told Pete to cut weight by becoming a gelding and he did it without complaints. During the dark days of the past few weeks, he whined like most of you, but he's still so talented, so experienced, and so filled with love for the sport, that this weight belongs to him. He has also helped backup jman improve from 1/10 to 4/10. I still wish I could have redshirted that guy though.

141: Starter: BMAN may still be a middle aged man with less speed than most, but he gets 10/10 because he got me drunk on fine Franklin County corn hooch before his practice match with Mvrck. I guess he's good. Country folks can survive.

149: Starter: Me. Rating: 10/10. Backup: Wresfan. Rating: 6/10. Wresfan sees a strong decline in his rating for nearly starting a revolt against my authority. All of that experience and all of that talent...thrown away? I, thankfully, am still awesome.

157: Starter: The Final Gun. Rating: 10/10. Backup: bigs26. Rating: 6/10. The Final Gun is the only Iowan on the team. Thus, he is awesome. I have not let him wrestle once out of fear of injuring my prized Iowan. You know, it's like racing a horse after he's won the Triple Crown. Don't want to damage him and ruin the stud fee. But, anyway, he's awesome because he's an Iowan.

165: Starter: TheJuggerNitt. Rating: 5/10. Backup: psuphysicist. Rating: 5/10. Mediocre weight. JNitt has size and has turned into a werecat, but he hasn't yet learned to control his were-powers and he isn't all there mentally, as evidenced by his liking Michigan State and living in Michigan. The physics guy has glasses like the guy from Half-Life, but he doesn't wield weapons like the guy from Half-Life.

174: Starter: Frank O'Brien: Rating: 8/10. Backup: None, jtot is dead to us. We have done it! With help from yours truly, Frank has taken command of his rabid hatred for all things Iowa and is now using it for proper purposes. He is concentrating fully on opponents on the mat, not on Iowa fans in the stands. Frank isn't as talented as that chicken baby jtothep, but he didn't abandon us like jtot, and, crucially, he has more intensity. Keep rocking, Iowa hater.

184: Starter: OBrienSchofieldIsMyHero. Rating: 8/10. Backup: NGameday11. Rating: 4/10. OBSIMH is an enigma. He's very slick, and he still turns green, goes into a frothing rage, and wrecks people whenever someone disses Wisconsin. But he still hasn't shown any signs of being able to post, let alone blog wrestle, at BHGP. I'm terrified that rating will go in the tank as soon as he shows up there. As for NGameday11....yeah. Redshirt year.

197: Starter: usn_kologi. Rating: 11/10. Backup: psu. Rating: 7/10. GREATEST WRESTLER EVER! I haven't seen kologi around here lately, so I assume our werewolf wrestler is currently on an extended killing spree in the Catoctin Park near D.C. But when he steps on that mat, wow, look out. All intensity, all skill, all domination. He is Dan Gable with sharper teeth and crazy hair. Psu gets at least 7 for not dying after each beatdown.

Heavyweight: Starter: hbeach08. Rating: 8/10. Backup: psuwxman. Rating: 6/10. As one would expect from a former Penn State All-Big Ten offensive lineman, hbeach has good footspeed, learns easily, and translates what he learns and what he sees. He's also a talented poster, something that will come in handy in the fierce blog wrestling war at BHGP. As for wxman, nothing much to report, he's really only an ok backup.

In summary: I feel better about our chances at BHGP this Sunday evening. Maybe we have a chance. Maybe. But keep working.

Yours truly,

Coach Rambler

P.S. Jtothep sucks

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