Success With Hyperlinking Is OH MY GOD IT'S GAME WEEK

[Ed: I was at a wedding this weekend that was extremely close to Ann Arbor. I made sure to troll Michigan fans at any and every opportunity. Now with that, HIT THE MUSIC.]

Can we wrap this up please, A&M? You may need to sit down when you hear this, but Aggie is officially looking for a new conference. Texas A&M have to officially leave the Big 12 before the SEC can extend an invitation though, which leaves open the possibility of A&M leaving their current conference and getting no invitation from the SEC. If you're at all like me (meaning sick of this story), then this is the outcome you should be rooting for because hahahahahahahahahaha.

LSU: Now available in dumpster fire form! Jordan Jefferson and Joshua Johns have been suspended indefinitelyafter being charged with second degree battery. You can read the police report of the incident here. Russell Shepard has been suspended for at least the season opener against Oregon due not to his housing snafu, but rather because of his involvement with Will Lyles. It goes without saying that this is not the way you'd like to be entering the season, but since this is LSU and Les Miles we're talking about, I'm sure they'll win by 49 on Saturday. You know, one point for each pair of Jefferson's shoes Baton Rouge police confiscated from his apartment.

/claps uncontrollably. Not real sure you should be tempting fate like this, Michigan.

Aaaand it starts. Miami has declared eight football players ineligible, including starting quarterback Jacory Harris, and requested that the NCAA reinstate them before their season opener against Maryland. This is the song and dance that Miami and the NCAA have to do in regards to the current Canes that were implicated in the Charles Robinson masterpiece. The NCAA will take a look at each player and then decide how much longer, if at all, the player must stay on ice.

My goodness it's getting a little dusty in here. Nope, not crying from looking at that picture.

SHUT UP, DANNY SHERIDAN. "Your lawyer is an idiot. You don't know who paid Cecil Newton, or IF someone paid Cecil Newton. Please go away." Sincerely, the NCAA.