Back in my day, when I played with Speedy McEngels, Shorty Miller, Frackville Faczmarek, and Dashin’ Dex Very, I once got tackled by Old Man Ricketts when we was playin’ at Forbes Field against the Pantheroos. They was called the Pantheroos at that time, a weird sort of rebellious thing you’uns who didn’t fight in the Great War – the War to end all Great Wars – wouldn’t know about. Anyhow, Old Man Ricketts made me see Calvin Coolidge dancing above my head! I went to see one of them talkin’ pictures years later, with Jimmy Cagney and Humphrey Bogart and all of them guys, and when Jimmy Cagney punched some guy, boy, it sure did remind me of Old Man Ricketts. Anyhow, my head fell off just like what always happened to good ol’ Speedy. And just like Speedy, they just plopped it back on my neck. And look at me, I’m fine! And thm kids at BHGP, they whine when Pat Vint calls ’em stupid! Damn kids!

Old Man Ricketts died in the Depression as a hobo. Speedy McEngels died of the old Irishman’s disease – starvation! Shorty Miller died, but not until after he taunted Woody Hayes – and lived to tell about it. I don’t know what quite happened to Frackville Faczmarek, but, like all NEPA men, I guess he probably died in the Centralia Mine Fire. Dashin’ Dex Very existed, but his real nickname was probably cooler. And me, I live on, sharing cheap, bad humor with you’uns.