Your Week One Totally Serious Football Odds
by Tim Aydin on Sep 1, 2011 11:01 AM EDT
in Fun Stuff
Email
PrintGame weeks are finally back, and that can only mean one thing: Weekly predictions galore in the blogosphere. Now, we here at BSD have grown weary of such a drab, bland, and overdone explanations about why Team X will cover the spread against Team Y. Instead, we prefer to touch on the greater nuances of college football, many of which will have no impact whatsoever on the final score. Thus, we bring you heavy doses of "teh snark" in Totally Serious Football Odds.
The premise is simple. Every week, the BSD staff (well, namely Chris, Peter, and myself) pitches around ideas and we put them up for you, the readers to debate amongst yourselves in the comments section below. Without further ado, here are your lines for the opening weekend of the 2011 college football season:
- Number of times Al Golden will pathetically attempt to put up the facade that he is committed to riding out the storm at Miami (Over/Under 25)
- Gallons of spittle Lou Holtz will spew on College Scoreboard Final alone (O/U 3)
- Number of times Nick Saban poormouths one of his own players in the post-game presser after Alabama beats Kent State by 90. (O/U 14)
- Number of times Bret Bielema references "the card" after going for 2 in the 4th quarter against UNLV with a 34 point lead. (O/U 3)
- Fistbumps on the Ohio State sideline between Fickell and VraBRO (aka Mike Vrabel). NOTE: Fistbumps must immediately be blown up (O/U 22)
- Did Craig James allegedly kill five hookers during his time at SMU?
YES (-10000)
NO (+7500) - Ruptured Purdue ACL's against Middle Tennessee State (O/U 8.5)
- Face masks angrily grabbed by Bo Pelini with a 35+ point lead against UT-Chattanooga (O/U 14.5)
- How many times will Bo Pelini call the back judge's wife "a rotting, toothless meth-whore"? (O/U 9.5)
8 comments
|
0 recs |
Do you like this story?
Comments
Every time
someone mentions ACL I’m forced to run all around knocking on every piece of wood I can find (and repeatedly on my own wooden head) to try to ward off our own ACL gremlins.
"It just might be that the purpose of your life is to serve as a warning to others." Despair.com
i've always lived by the rule...
a fist bump isn’t a fist bump if it’s not blown up…everything else is just aggression
For the glory
My picks
Taking the Under on Golden, he eventually just gives up around 18 and says “you know what, f#@k it! I am leaving this place after this year.” and then punches Shalala in the back of the head.
Over on Holtz. Easiest bet of the year.
If badmouthing an entire unit counts as seperate players and not just 1, I’ll take the over on Saban.
I’ll take the under on Bielema as I figure his coaching ineptitude will keep this close enough to actually have to use the card.
Over on Fistbumps. Way over. Cause you can’t leave a bro hangin’.
Yes on Craig James because I read it on the internet, therefor it must be true.
If mustaches have ACL’s I’ll take the over on Purdue, otherwise I dont think there are enough ACL’s left to even cover that spread.
Waaaaaaaaay over on the facemasks. Unless we’re only talking about the first half. And then its just over.
Gonna go with the upset and say under for the last one. I think he’ll try and mix it up in the first game of the season to see what really works and what doesn’t. No need to commit to one insult just yet. It’s a long season.
I'm on the Internet cause I'm an Internet thug.
Follow @134Lounge
Stunned...
Not one over/under on Mark May spewing his normal hate and declaring that this Penn State team just isn’t that good and they were lucky to escape the game with a “W”?
"It just might be that the purpose of your life is to serve as a warning to others." Despair.com
We're saving that for a later week
Early O/U though would be eleventy-billion.
@happyhourvalley
Black Shoe Diaries
It's not cheating when you do it on the Kiss-Cam.
by Tim Aydin on Sep 1, 2011 2:42 PM EDT via iPhone app up reply actions
Yeah, don't forget there are many weeks ahead for that stuff!
A Garden State Nittany Lion...
"The way things are these days, 9-3 and one of the best graduation rates in the country doesn't seem like such a terrible bargain to make. - Michael Weinreb"
by Mike Pettigano on Sep 1, 2011 2:56 PM EDT up reply actions
I know, however
it’s hard to really generate true hate for the mighty Sycamores so in that situation I always default to the green house gas producing machine that is Mark May and work up a frenzied loathing.
"It just might be that the purpose of your life is to serve as a warning to others." Despair.com
Comments For This Post Are Closed
Secondary Sidebar
User Tools
Related FanPosts on Black Shoe Diaries
Related FanShots on Black Shoe Diaries
FanPosts
Community blog posts and discussion.
Recommended FanPosts
Recent FanPosts
SHOP THE BLACK SHOE DIARIES STORE
