I wake up this morning and fire up the 'puter, and what smacks me in the face? SI's College Football page's Game of the Week, in which Bill Trocchi explains why we'll suffer a beatdown.

The article is really pretty non-offensive, but because Bama's D is scary good, PSU is a 2 TD dog. Huh. Guess we'll have to - ya know - actually play the game.

Fine.

What really teed me off was yet another article hitpiece on the same page by some dillwad columnist named Paul Finebaum who must have gotten a chubby page-view fever reading Buzz Bissinger the other day and decided to repeat rewrite it. No, I'm not linking it.

By now, we can all spout that story  crap verbatim: Joe is old, he's out of touch, he can't recruit, he's become a punch line, he's selfish, the Bobby Bowden of the North, disloyal to his staff, he hurts Penn State, blah, blah, blah.

I've read it, so you don't have to. You're welcome.

Paul Finebaum, you're a douchea. A truly excellent example of one, as a matter of fact. Nice work.

OK - hand me my pipe. I'm done.