Success with Hyperlinking Wants To Play Now

Yes, that's actually Urban Meyer. Feel free to mock him. - OurHonorDefend.Com

Four more days of waiting? This is going to be a struggle.

So some of your coaches already gave you a heads up about Beaver Stadium, eh Urbz? Luke Fickell had a front row seat to 1994's 63 - 14 thrashing, as a defensive tackle. But the 2005 game also made a lasting impression on quite a few Buckeyes. Here's Malcolm Jenkins and Luke Person, in 2007, being asked about 'the loudest stadium':

That tunnel walk onto the field, past screaming fans restrained by steel barriers, sounds like it rattled Person a little bit. Maybe we could pass out some torches and pitchforks at that end of the stadium this year. Sure, the urine balloons a few years ago were okay, but I'm thinking goat blood and severed digits this year. Step it up a notch. More of a Biblical, apocalyptic theme. Imagine getting ready to take the field, and someone sacrifices a lamb in front of you, and then you get hit in the face with a bloody human toe. Suddenly you're thinking 'was that a human toe that just came through my face mask? And if so, where did the toe come from?' instead of thinking about the game.

For our guys the tunnel walk's a bit different of course:

During the game? Rage in the stands. All 60 minutes. And then, after OSU throws another INT that Mauti-Mauti-Mauti returns to their 4 yard line, this is what it'll be like:

Total chaos. Dogs and cats, living together. Mass hysteria............Four more days of waiting? This won't be easy.

Nittanyville Goes Sun Belt?: the largest Nittanyville crowd in history is already gathered outside the stadium gates. A population explosion not occurring in the deep South? I has confuse.

DT Jordan Hill participated in the conference call this week, and had some good quotes.

Over at Land Grant Holy Land: Matt Brown has a nice piece in which he coins the phrase, Battle of the Banned. He also tells Buckeye fans that it is okay to call Penn State a rival since, you know, we play every year and Penn State's won two of the last four, with both of those wins coming at the 'Shoe. For my part, I'll say this: (bleeeeeep) (bleeeeeep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepppp). Now I feel better.

Shifting Gears

Did you know: Iowa was implementing a new, BOB-like, offensive system this year? I wouldn't have guessed that from the play calling and (lack of) tempo either. Pat Vint at The Pants has a classically brilliant rant about it.

Extended Parody: Tip your hat to Spencer Hall for this one. Sure, it's easy to mock Jon Gruden. And it's easy to mock your rival, Tennessee. Using Jon Gruden, a former TN staffer, in a combo mock? Well done. But carrying on the mocking through a full 105 man roster? THAT GUY really went above and beyond.

Ice Hockey, Beer and Donuts: as Thank You Terry points out, your brand new Penn State Nittany Lions hockey team is ranked #7 in the nation, one spot ahead of Boston U. No, that means absolutely zero; and yes, it's a 'law of small numbers' scenario. But it still looks cool, right? And if you haven't checked it out already, feast your eyes on IcersGuy's recent recap. It includes a write-up on Penn State's upset over RIT.

Around The Universe

There's nothing really to report, because nothing else is going on. In simple terms, the entire universe is on hold until 5:30pm ET on Saturday.

Oh sure, there are some different articles that rehash the obvious. Like this one, which - reading between the lines - points out that Mark Emmert is a giant douchea bag who grazes on pastures that sprout bags of d**ks. As if we didn't already know that.

And this one, which is a Washington Post mashup of some other small local paper's reporting that UNC senior Erik Highsmith plagiarized four 11-year olds for a "communications" class paper.

Note to local paper: nice reporting, but that's why you're small time. If you want to make serious dough out of this, you've got to sensationalize it. Dump the flannel and put on that little black dress. Tom Rinaldi's not coming down there with the ESPN TV van for plagiarism. You've got to sex it up. Something more like, "UNC Leadership Harbors Football Star Who Victimized Four Young Boys". See how that sings? And, one could argue, it's not factually inaccurate. So you know...journalistic integrity annat.

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