FanPost

PSU Wiscy Tailgating

Sup Party People! In a weird set of personal circumstances, this season has nearly passed without my having attended a Penn State football game. But just as Fortune shone upon Dave Joyner & helped him to discover the diamond Bill O'Brien in the weeds of the roughest rough in college football history, it has also flicked a few rays upon yours truly and I find myself with plans to attend the Wiscy game this weekend. If you love tailgating, and I know you do, I would love to tailgate with you.

My plans are to dress warmly and go on the tailgating equivalent of the Aboriginal Walkabout. But since my recent Dream Sequence has been infested with nightmarish imagery including the kidnapping of my children and the removal of my appendages with barbaric machinery by a roving band of rogue Amish (thanks so much for that, Breaking Amish!), I'll be relying instead upon modern technologies such as Google Maps & Twitter to help me navigate the Central Pennsylvania bush. Although I do remain hopeful for a spiritual experience.

While I'm hopeful for an earlier takeoff, I'm likely to arrive in the 12-1p timeframe which should get me parked in the yellow lots somewhere near Curtin Road. Here's the map of the fine folk I hope to swing through to visit; let me know if you'd like added or would like to request a drop-in whereby I switch out my Abo hat and don a Kiwi one and come and drink all your booze (my wife is likely to be with me, so we can save the raping & pillaging for another time). Right now, it looks like I've got a nice little tornado path to follow. I'll be starting along the East side of the Beav at Bman's gate, probably a little too late for his yummy breakfast, but where I can talk wrestling and unfinished basements. From there, I'll be swinging through Messrs & Missuses Shogun & Ninja's bitumen-floored gate behind the South end zone, where I hope to see the high bar raised from my last visit there when I witnessed some pad-thai being grilled in a skillet while Kurtis Blow was gracing my earwaves. Lastly, I hope to find my way to the grassy confines near Jeffrey Field to catch up with Cari (and Dawson?) at PSUGirl's two-space gate and sample what I've read to be a sausage scallopini or a tex-mex shepherd's pie and to meet up again with Chaotic Freedom & her hubby for the first time. Baconway better get at me once he lands so we can get in a grown-man hug somewhere en route. I'll settle for a handshake if it's too creepy for our wives to watch two dudes who only know each other from the Internet embrace in such fashion.

I'll be keeping my party train moving so as to leave plenty of time to get into the stadium for warm-ups & Senior Day acknowledgements, where I plan to cheer my throat horse and moisten my cheeks with tears of respect for the real leaders of Pennslvania State University.

I don't anticipate having to use my AK.

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