BO'B - BOB-BOB-BOB
Too Late for X-Mas: BSD the Store benefits THON
Lazy men and women of the interwebs, BSD can help save your holidays.
You haven't gone shopping yet, right? Of course you haven't! But you've probably also given exactly zero thought about what to buy, right? Naturally! You're just a mouse-clicking primate with a conscience that barely registers a hint of emotion about anything, besides football. On occasion, your significant other claims to suffer from "anthropomorphism" towards you. Whatever that means.
Well what better way to prove them all correct by making a purchase from BSD the Store! How does that prove them correct, and why would you want to do so? Because even if you purchase today, it probably won't arrive in time for Christmas. And wouldn't that be freaking hilarious? Instead of an actual gift, simply print out your online receipt, wrap it up, and stick it under the tree. You'll be recognized as a complete a-hole, but you'll be laughing so hard you might pee your pants. Just picture the disappointment on your significant other's face.
Too scared of that reaction from your significant other? Never fear - his/her anger will melt away when you tell him/her that all BSD proceeds benefit THON, helping find a cure for pediatric cancer. He/she will regret the name calling, and be burdened with a ton of guilt. But you'll be completely off the 'no-thought-or-emotion' hook, free to fall asleep watching Boise State vs. Akron, or whatever crap bowl game is on. You're welcome.
Besides which, what man could turn down a "Yea Nits!" long-sleeve t-shirt? Memorialize Coach BO'Bs words with a "Bunch of F***ERS" gigantic hoodie. Have a friend that roots for the Hawkeyes? Send that person a "Punting Is For Pussies" special delivery.
Oh, there are all kinds of callous messages to communicate. BSD the Store is not just about pedophilia sanctions anymore. It's really branched out, with items like PSU Hoopey Ball, Yea!; Jersey Blows; volleyball BOOM!; Yinz Suck, Rutgers; and Ice Hockey, Bitches.
Plus, as always, BSD the Store will be more than happy to create an item for you - just post the idea in the comments below*. And you're not limited to t-shirts and hoodies. BSD the Store can put your meme on anything from pregnancy belly bands and baby one-sies, to thongs, pet sweaters and coffee mugs. It's a versatile selection, though leather chaps are not yet available, unfortunately.
*Try not to use specific people, names, trademarks, or logos, because BSD the Store receives threatening letters when funny t-shirts with such items are put on the rack. But everything else is cool.
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