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The Grinch Who Stole Football

It was a quarter past 8:00am, all the Penn Staters still in bed,

All the Penn Staters, still asnooze When he packed up his sled,

Packed it up with their Bowls! Scholarships! Recruits!

The previous wins! The famed Statue!

Three hundred miles up! Up the side of Mt. Indianapolis,
he rode with his load to the tiptop to dump it into the abyss!

“Pooh Pooh to PSU” he was Emmertinshly humming.

“They’re finding out now, that no Championship is coming!”

“They’re just waking up, I know just what they’ll do.”

“Their mouths will hang open a minute or two”

“Then the Penn Staters in PSU will cry a BooHoo.”

“That’s a noise” grimed the Emmert, “That’s a noise I simply must hear”

So he paused and did hear a sound rising over the Valley

But the sound wasn’t sad, why this sound sounded Merry!

It couldn’t be so, but it was merry! VERY!

He stared down at PSUville, The Emmert popped his eyes

Then he shook, what he saw was a shocking surprise.

All the Penn Staters down in PSUville, the tall and the small,

Was Singing! Without any Bowl games at all!

He HAD’NT stopped success with honor from coming, IT CAME!

Somehow or another, it came just the same

And the Emmert, with his Emmert face cold from the blow,

Stood puzzling and puzzling. “How could it be so?”

“It came without scholarships, It came without Money,

It came with out recruits, wins, and a chance at a Championship Tourney.

And he puzzled for three hours, until his puzzler was sore

Then The Emmert thought of something he hadn’t before!

“Maybe Penn State does not come from a store.”

“Maybe Penn State…perhaps… means a little more”

And the Penn Staters down in PSUville realized that they did not need a cultural change

Rather, Penn State is here to stay!



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