Success With Hyperlinking Might Get Pro Combats After All

Yeaaaaaah, we're gunna need you to [stretches, grunts] come in on Saaaaturday. We've got to play a little catch-up, if you know what I mean. M'kay? Greaaaat.

Well this week sucked, huh? Penn State learned it would be playing with half a roster, with no bowl games, with basically both arms and a leg tied up for the next four years. But hey! At least we still have Silas Re--oh, wait, FUUUU!

Anyway.

#PSUOlympics. If you braved the 7 minutes of Opening Ceremony that periodically interrupted the commercials last night, maybe you were able to pick out a Penn Stater or two in Team USA. If not, here's the rundown of the 19 Nittany Lions who made the trip to London. Also, the full schedule of their events, which is kinda nice to have handy.

At least there aren't any bad Penn State jokes...

The 1990's Black Jerseys were better than the recent changes to Northwestern's uniform. Not sure what's going on there with the chest stripe. But, whatever, at least they get to play with 85 scholarships.

BHGP: The Prophecy. Turns out there are a bunch of uniform changes coming to the Big Ten. No, they're not the fake Pro Combat mock ups from Black Heart Gold Pants, but you'd be surprised, considering the tweets coming out of the Hawkeyes roster.

Nebrasky's doin' it too. Against Wisconsin, the Huskers will be sporting the all-red with black helmets. Seems all the uniform talk at Penn State isn't just a bad dream.

Other things Tim Beckman didn't do, also from our buds at BHGP:

In related news, here are a few other things Tim Beckman did not do:

"My eyes were full of tears, but I wasn't crying."

"Your sister's number is in my call history, but I wasn't talking to her."

"My mouth is full, but I didn't eat your birthday cake."

"I had dinner with your mom at a fancy restaurant and brought her flowers, but we didn't go on a date."

"I'm backing out of the driveway, but I didn't steal your car."

"I was naked in bed with your wife, but I didn't sleep with her."

"Yes, I'm holding a bonesaw and soaked in blood, but I didn't kill the woman in the room next door."

Yes, I think we're going to like the Tim Beckman Era.

It's the SMU Variety Hour! Former Mustangs who were present during the actual Death Penalty punishment in 1987 reminisce about the open transfer period. It's not fun now, and it wasn't fun then, either.

SMU players describe a feeding frenzy after the day after the announcement as at least 100 coaches from around the country flew to Dallas to recruit anyone who could fill a hole on their team. Teammates headed as far as Hawaii and Michigan for recruiting visits. "It was like sharks to blood," said Stollenwerck, who ended up transferring to Missouri on the advice of a family friend.

Oddly enough, the Death Penalty might not be the thing most of us think of anymore when it comes to SMU. Rather, this will surely warrant a #smh...

One of the players, identified as Uchenna Nwabuike, told police he believed the person responsible for the thefts was an escort. The linebacker from Missouri City went on to tell authorities that he had, "made a deal with the suspect to have sex with her for $50."

In the police report, Nwabuike admitted that, "he did not pay the suspect for the acts that she performed" and left the woman in the home alone while the players attended the banquet.

Death Penalty for Alabama in 3... 2... #FOOTBALLCULTURE


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