So I'm at work today, mopping a hallway. Some old guy walks in wearing a dress shirt with the Coors label. I realize that he is present to sell beer to the restaurant's manager.

Then it strikes me: this man is here to sell Coors beer to someone.

This man is here to sell COORS BEER.

I don't mean to denigrate my fellow working man. I love the working man. Here's some country music to prove it:

Aww, yeah, preach it, Billy Joe, you beautiful son of a Texas oilman, you.

But, seriously, folks, how can someone sink so low as to be willing to sell Coors beer for a living? I've decided that he's not actually willing to do this work for a living. We must have repealed the 13th Amendment. There is no other rational explanation that would satisfy me. If I find that men actually willingly work to sell Coors beer, then I will have lost all of my faith in humanity.