Hello, my name is ReadingRambler. I have posted here since August of 2008. In that time, I have become “friends” with a few of you cretins. Some of you have even said that I am “well-respected” and “welcome” here at Black Shoe Diaries.

I could not possibly care less for what you think of me.

Your opinion is totally irrelevant. The only opinion that really matters in the long run is that of Jesus Christ.

I know what you’re thinking: Well, how can I hate you and still care about Jesus’ opinion? The Bible says not to hate people. Yes, but the Bible also says to hate bad things. You are bad things. You are not people, so far as I can tell. I have no actual evidence to prove that any of you are people. And so am I free to hate you.

And hate you I do.

Now, I bet you’re wondering why I hate you. I have many reasons. I will share one.

It’s because you think I care about your opinions. There is nothing more degrading and insulting than a group that thinks I should care about its collective opinion when their opinions are, at best, like Louis Freeh’s summary: loud, short, and misguided.

Loud, short, and misguided. That would probably well describe your personal features. That is, if you were actually human. Yes, you would be just like Danny DeVito as Frank Reynolds: loud, short, and misguided.

In short, I will condescend to you. In the late 18th century, to “condescend” meant to look upon someone as your inferior but still treat them politely. I will do so. However, I wanted to let you know how I really feel so I could take joy in your suffering. You will know what I really think and suffer as I treat you nicely anyway.

At the local county fairs of Pennsylvania, one will find many pigs. If one teases a pig by grabbing its tail, the pig will jump around all cute-like in a circle. You are the pigs. And I am the douchebag who spends his time teasing pigs.

Sincerely,

ReadingRambler, manager of Pennsylvanians United to Re-elect Tom Corbett