I've obtained an unedited copy of the Costas interview to be aired tonight and am now presenting to you some exclusive facts that were not in the book.

Fact: JoePa was such a bad ass as a player, he once was penalized for horse collar tackling a pterodactyl.

Fact: JoePa once taught an octopus how to play linebacker.

Fact: During a helmet to helmet hit, JoePa cracked the skull of a Triceratops...JoePa wasn't wearing a helmet.

Fact: While roaming Pangaea, JoePa challenged a Merychippus to a foot race....and won.

Fact: JoePa frequently won wrestling matches with saber-tooth tigers.

Fact: JoePa make footballs from the skin of T. Rex

Fact: Bored on Antarctica, JoePa completed the world's first cold fusion reaction when he slammed his two fists together.

Fact: JoePa farted only once. Astro-physicists refer to it as the Big Bang.

Fact: When mapping the fjords of Greenland during the 16th century, JoePa made the first field goal posts from the tusks of Narwhals.

Fact: JoePa won every event in the first ancient Olympic Games.

Fact: It was not a meteoroid that killed the dinosaurs, rather the aftershock of JoePa's touchdown spike.