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Exclusive: Important facts missing from JoePa biography revealed

I've obtained an unedited copy of the Costas interview to be aired tonight and am now presenting to you some exclusive facts that were not in the book.


Fact: JoePa was such a bad ass as a player, he once was penalized for horse collar tackling a pterodactyl.

Fact: JoePa once taught an octopus how to play linebacker.

Fact: During a helmet to helmet hit, JoePa cracked the skull of a Triceratops...JoePa wasn't wearing a helmet.

Fact: While roaming Pangaea, JoePa challenged a Merychippus to a foot race....and won.

Fact: JoePa frequently won wrestling matches with saber-tooth tigers.

Fact: JoePa make footballs from the skin of T. Rex

Fact: Bored on Antarctica, JoePa completed the world's first cold fusion reaction when he slammed his two fists together.

Fact: JoePa farted only once. Astro-physicists refer to it as the Big Bang.

Fact: When mapping the fjords of Greenland during the 16th century, JoePa made the first field goal posts from the tusks of Narwhals.

Fact: JoePa won every event in the first ancient Olympic Games.

Fact: It was not a meteoroid that killed the dinosaurs, rather the aftershock of JoePa's touchdown spike.

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