Obscure Sports Weekly Needs Your Help

Coquese Washington is starting to think the "Obscure Sports" tag is a bit offensive - USA TODAY Sports

This thing needs a new name. You can help.

Before we dive into what the Penn State sports other than football, guy's shootyhoops and wrasslin' did this week, we need your help. Someone left this comment on a Fanshot titled, "What happened to this website?": "Sorry, Bill D'F, but it took a while to even find your most recent write-up about 'Obscure' sports. Maybe a title of Not-So-Obscure Sports would be more enticing and respectful."

Ignoring the greatest spelling of my last name ever, Mr(s). BSD Comment Leaver Person, your wish is my command. I would like to invite every BSD reader to give some input on a possible name for this article, and the best one will become the new name of this piece. A few quick rules:

  1. Nothing calling them "smaller" or "obscure" sports.
  2. Nothing involving bodily functions (ex: "Sports that don't mean shit"). I'll unleash Cael on you if you do that.
  3. Nothing that directly insults me. I know this is poorly written and that I'm a haughty dipshit on par with Gregg Easterbrook. Don't remind me.
With that out of the way, let's begin now.

Women's Basketball --

  • The 8th ranked women's basketball team had two games this past week: one against Michigan and one against Minnesota.
  • PSU continues to roll through the Big Ten, beating Michigan, who came into the game undefeated in the conference, 59-49.
  • Michigan actually jumped out to an 8-2 lead, but that lead lasted about as long as Denard Robinson's NFL career, and outside of a brief moment in the second half, the Lady Lions didn't trail for the rest of the game.
  • Maggie Lucas and Alex Bentley carried the offensive load for the Lions: Lucas had 19 and Bentley had 16. Bentley also took more shots than Lucas, which would have caused the head of Skip Bayless to explode if a) Skip Bayless wasn't a troll who doesn't believe what he says or b) the number of shots a player took mattered.
  • The second game of the week against Minnesota was a little bit too close, as the Nits are one of the best teams in the country and Minny sucks, but they still won, 64-59.
  • The game was notable for two reasons: it matched up two of the best scorers in the conference in Lucas and Minnesota's Rachel Banham. Lucas had 26, Banham had 19. Also notable: Nikki Greene got her 1,000th career point. Go Nikki!

Men's Hockey --

  • Men's hockey had their game against Vermont at Wells Fargo Center in Philly this past week. They won, 4-2.
  • PSU jumped out to a 2-0 lead in the first period behind Taylor Holstrom and David Glen. Justin Kirchhevel and Casey Bailey also chipped in goals in the second and third periods, respectively.
  • An announcement about men's hockey in this section: since we have IcersGuy covering the team, men's hockey will no longer be covered here. Goodbye, men's hockey. *listens to "Don't Go Away" by Oasis* *cries*

Track and Field, Women's Hockey --

  • Both of these teams had the last week off. NEXT.

Gymnastics --

  • The top ranked men's gymnastics team had the Navy Open in Annapolis, Maryland. Penn State beat the following teams (ordered by how they finished): William & Mary, Temple, Navy, Springfield and Brockport.
  • Trevor Howard and Matthew Felleman went 1-2 in the all-around. Craig Hernandez broke the school record in the pommel horse. Penn State won the tournament by more than 30 points. Ho hum.
  • The ladies had their home opener at Rec Hall against Minnesota, Kent State and Towson. They came in third (ordered Minny-KSU-PSU-Towson). QUICK RECRUITING NOTE: as far as I know, none of these girls have committed to a college yet. Which means there's still a chance they come to PSU. GET ON IT, COACH THOMPSON.

Swimming and Diving --

  • SWIMMIN POOLS had a week off. They have a meet this weekend. I'll get to that momentarily.

Men's Volleyball --

  • Two schools, Lewis and Loyola-Chicago, came to Happy Valley to take on the men's volleyball team this week. They won a combined one set.
  • Lewis lost to the 6th ranked Nittany Lions, 3-1 (25-22, 25-23, 20-25, 25-18). Tom Comfort led the way with 18 kills, which are really easy to accrue when you're 6'6". Taylor Hammond had 43 assists, which is two more than Jermaine Marshall has this entire season #FiurChambres.
  • Against Loyola-Chicago, Penn State struggled a bit in the first set, but was more dominant than Kane at the 2001 Royal Rumble in the second and third, winning 3-0 (27-25, 25-16, 25-19). Comfort and Peter Russell both had 10 kills, while Hammond had 36 assists, which is more than Tim Frazier and John Johnson has for the men's basketball team this season COMBINED #FiurChambres.

Fencing --

  • The fencing team is giving me another week to learn how the sport works. How kind.

Tennis --

  • Making their OSW debut this week, men's and women's tennis! Welcome to the club, guys. Have a seat where men's hockey used to be.
  • The women's team took a trip to Akron, Ohio to burn an effigy of LeBron James take on Middle Tennessee State and Akron. They won against both teams, 5-2.
  • The guys played three teams: NC State, Cornell and Cleveland State. Against NCST and Cornell, they lost, 4-3. Against Cleveland State, they won 7-0, further proving Bill Simmons' theory that God hates Cleveland.

The Week Ahead --

  • The lady shootyhoopers take on Ohio State in Columbus on Sunday, then travel to Madison on Thursday to take on Wisconsin. No word on if Wisconsin's ladies coach looks like a badger, too. We'll keep you updated.
  • Track has the Penn State National this weekend. To recycle last week's joke, it combines my favorite school with one of my favorite bands.
  • Women's hockey travel up to Syracuse to take on the Orangemen today and Saturday, then return to Happy Valley to take on Princeton on Tuesday. Go to that second one, it gives you a chance to make fun of people who go to Princeton.
  • Men's gymnastics are going to take this week to let the calluses on their hands heal. The women, on the other hand, go up against Iowa, Rutgers and Pitt this week at Rec Hall.
  • SWIMMIN POOLS take on Navy over at McCoy Natatorium on Saturday, which seems unfair at first because of the whole "Navy protects the water" thing. Then you see that PSU is a top 25 team for both men's and women's, while Navy isn't ranked. Playing field = level.
  • Volleyball takes on Sacred Heart on tonight at Rec Hall (remember, SH, $10 to every one of your players if they come out singing this). On Saturday, they play Harvard. This means Harvard and Princeton will both be coming to PSU this week. SO MANY IVY LEAGUE JOKES, YOU GUYS.
  • Men's fencing returns to OSW next week, with a meet at St. John's against the Red Storm, Columbia, Harvard, Lennay Kekua Notre Dame and Ohio State. I get to make fun of ND AND OSU next week? *faints*
  • Men's tennis heads down to Winston-Salem, North Carolina on Saturday to take on New Mexico, Wake Forest and Alabama. The ladies play Temple at PSU on Saturday as well. Expected forecast: 26 degrees and snow. God bless them.
  • Get out your pennies and let rock your flow: Men's lax has their first game of the season against Army. Bro out, men's lax. Bro out.
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