FanPost

BSDrink Off Rankings: 16-1

The day is almost upon us. Darkness falls across the land. The midnight hour is close at hand. Blah blah blah Thriller.

We have had four days worth of rankings leading up to this. After some recalibrating due to SOMEONE not being able to make it (thanks, Nikki), the final rankings for the BSDrink Off, sponsored by McDonald's*, I'm Lovin' It! (DISCLAIMER: still nothing) are in. I also included odds, because degenerate gamblers will gamble on anything. Bill Simmons said so, so it has to be true.

7,000,000,000) bscaff

lol

Odds: 500,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,004 to 1

6,999,999,999 to 16) Every Other Living Person

Just because

Odds: 500,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,003 to 1

15) Tim Hyland

Unable to make it. As is Ben. But Tim won't get all butthurt over his ranking.

Odds: N/A

14) Devon Edwards

Devon can't make it, either. See the above section for why he's listed here.

Odds: N/A

13) Nikki Bowser

Odds: N/A

12) Jared Slanina

I'm hoping that Jared and Cari have a drink-off, with the loser being forced to perform a solo version of "Teenage Dirtbag."

Odds: 5,000 to 1

11) Cari Greene

CUZ I'M JUST A TEEN-AGE DIRT-BAG BAAAAAABY.

Odds: 4,999 to 1

10) Jeff Junstrom

#FreeJunny

Odds: 2,000 to 1

9) Tim Aydin

Tim is the Spike Dudley of this competition: not the biggest, not the strongest, but dammit, he has heart.

Odds: 1,500 to 1

8) Nick Blonde

Our first big move: Galen jumps Nick. Historic day, you guys.

Odds: 500 to 1

7) Galen

Hashtag Dark Horse

Odds: 250 to 1

6) Bill DiFilippo

F*ck this guy

Odds: 100 to 1

5) Adam Collyer

#JerseyStrong #STTS

Odds: 50 to 1

4) Eric Gibson

No, YOU ranked Chad above Eric to give Eric extra motivation to put on a Herculean performance.

Odds: 25 to 1

3) Nick Polak

Nick is representing New Jersey and Seattle, two places that desperately need a champion. He's probably had a BAC in the 0.2's for the last three days, which I think hurts his chances.

Odds: 12 to 1

2) Dan Vecellio

From last night, when I asked someone about Dan's drinking abilities: "I've seen him drink three pitchers of beer in a few hours and not be impacted at all." The Ronaldo of this competition.

Odds: 5 to 2

1) Chad Markulics

The Messi of this competition. ROLL CHAD.

Odds: 2 to 1

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