Success With Hyperlinking Is Seeing Crop Formations

Matthew O'Haren-USA TODAY Sports

RUN FOR THE CELLAR

  • WE ARE...weird. Penn State fans are some of the weirdest, craziest, most loyal SOB's on the planet. Example: some dude in Minnesota mowed JOE PA into a cornfield. Your move, Penn State fans in Florida and Ohio. You must now one-up this weirdness.
  • Shane McGregor is the most beautiful human being of all time. Today's evidence of this: his recollection of Joe Paterno's final squad meeting. I laughed! I cried! I lost fifteen pounds!
  • The Lady Shootyhoopers named their captains for this season. The lucky ladies: Maggie Lucas (who is better than you are at basketball), Ariel Edwards (her too), Talia East (yep), and Dara Taylor (who is in a class/group project with me, which means absolutely nothing, I just wanted to share that).
  • This week's Big Ten Awards tracker on ESPN's Big Ten Blog has a few Penn Staters. Allen Robinson is fifth in the Offensive POY voting, and Christian Hackenberg is first in Freshman of the Year voting. Robinson is actually #2 among wide receivers behind Michigan's Jeremy Gallon, which isn't surprising, but still kinda sucks.
  • The QB guru who worked with Donovan McNabb, Cam Newton, and Jawnny Footbaawwwwwwwww really likes Christian Hackenberg. So do I. So do you. That makes us all QB gurus by the transitive property of sports.
  • Urbz scared
  • In actually serious news, Graham Spanier has filed a stay in his defamation lawsuit against Louis Freeh. G-Span wants to wait until his criminal trial is finished before he proceeds with this case. Also, Spanier wants a trial by jury, which was the worst Law and Order ever.
  • Tim Frazier: GOOD AT BASKETBALL.
  • Andrew Jones: BACK...uh...at basketball?
  • The Harlem Globetrotters -- they're considered sports, right? -- are coming back to the Bryce Jordan Center. FUN STORY: I got cut from the basketball team as a HS junior for some bullshit reason ("as a junior, we can't mold you into the player we want you to be"), and when I went to see the Globetrotters three months later, I sat next to the coach. It was awkward. You suck, Lenny Smith.
  • This is kinda Penn State news -- The American Outlaws: State College have a bar. We're almost a thing.
  • OTHER VARIOUS THINGS: Evan Kalikow looked at Congress and compared them to NBA players...Happy birthday, "good kid, m.A.A.d. city"!...This is terrifying...This reddit thread about PSU/Michigan is awesome...SCRUBS!!!!!...TDE's Cypher from the BET Hip-Hop Awards was fire (especially Kendrick and Jay Rock)...PFT Commenter is the funniest person on the internet...The NBA is back in a week, you guys...Woody Harrelson and Matthew McConaughey's new show on HBO looks amazing...this map is awful...Keanu Reeves did an AMA.

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