FanPost

BSDrink Off Rankings: 12-9

This weekend's BSDrink Off, sponsored by McDonald's*, I'm Lovin' It!, (DISCLAIMER: We still aren't officially sponsored by McDonald's) is the most anticipated event since, well, a lot of things. Yesterday, we looked at the BSDers that have no chance, either because they aren't attending (bscaff, Devon, Tim H) or because they're Jared (Jared).

Today, we're examining the people who probably don't have a chance at winning, but could have a solid showing at the We Are! 2013 tailgate. Well, not all of them. Here's why:

12) Cari Greene

We received this email from Female Fearless Leader while discussing the competition: "I expect to be ranked dead last." Jesus, Cari. Ninety percent of the game is half mental, and you took yourself out of the competition with that mind set. There are puppies that get yelled at with more confidence than Cari has going into this competition. Also, the two people who will compete that are ranked last are the site's two bosses. NO STRONG LEADERSHIP, WHAT IS THIS, THE BOARD OF TRUSTEES? HAR HAR HAR.

11) Jeff Junstrom

Junny! He's still on the masthead, even though the last time he wrote something or commented was 1977. For all I know, he's going to come in and whip us all because he's a lawyer, and people who practice lawyerin' love them some booze (see: Rominger, Karl). I have no idea if Jeff will be around for the tailgate, so the only reason he's listed here is because he was the guy that brought me onto BSD and for that reason, I'm his bee-otch. I miss you, Jeff. Please attend the tailgate.

10) Tim Aydin

Tim is probably in better physical condition than anyone else on BSD. He runs 10k's and stuff like that. I submit that this hurts his ranking, because while he is in tip-top physical shape, he's in horrible drinking shape. Tim is approximately 4'8", 31 lbs., which means he's really good at running, but probably not that good at drinking. Plus he seems like the kind of guy who only drinks craft beer (NOTE: I have zero evidence to back up this claim), and I think we're only having stuff like Yuengling and Miller Lite because Pennsylvania. As Onward State Managing Editor Kevin Horne said to me in Bloomington, Miller Lite "is not for human consumption," and I have a feeling Tim feels the same way for no reason at all.

9) Galen

Galen is one of the older members of BSD, which could hurt him against some of the younger, stronger livers in this competition. However, Galen is built like a brick house with a belly (never underestimate the power of a belly in a competition like this), and is wiser than all of us children. While we try to pound stuff down like it's the Civil War and we're about to get a leg amputated, Galen will use his zen-like patience and drinking savvy to pace himself, and at the end of the day, I think he has the potential to make a strong showing, and possibly jump into the top four or five of this competition. Will he jump into the top three? I don't think so. The top three is the Bama/Oregon/third team that always seems to be right there with those two of drinking. To see who they are, stay tuned.

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