Big Ten Preview: Week Eleven

Jesse Johnson-USA TODAY Sports

This week sucks

Have you seen the Big Ten's schedule this week? It's kind of lame. There are no marquee games, and there's only one ranked team that's playing. That ranked team is Wisconsin, and they're not even playing a Big Ten opponent. They're playing BYU, a school which hasn't been relevant in any way since Jimmer Fredette graduated. And yes, I just wanted a reason to post a Jimmer highlight video. He's one of the best basketball players I've ever seen and you can kiss my tuchus if you disagree.

To the games!

Saturday, November 9

Penn State @ Minnesota, noon

There are exactly zero reasons why I should pick Penn State to win this game. Minnesota is on fire, Penn State sucks on the road, and few teams have as much motivation to win as Minnesota. The team is quietly one of the best stories in the country, and they will almost definitely be ranked if they win this weekend.

However, I think Penn State squeaks by in this one. Penn State is solid against the run when they aren't playing Ohio State, and since Minnesota is really bad at throwing the football, I think John Butler dares the Gophers to let it fly. I'm rambling. And being a homersexual. Sue me.

Prediction: Penn State 31, Minnesota 27

Watchability: I'm going to chew my fingernails off

Iowa @ Purdue, noon

Purdue is playing. They may be the worst football team I've ever seen. They aren't winning a game this year. I'm not wasting your time with "analysis." God, this game sucks.

Prediction: Iowa 17, Purdue 6

Watchability: No

Illinois @ Indiana, 3:30 p.m.

'SUP BECKMAN!? Does last week sting? I bet it stings. 24-17, 24-17, 24-17, 24-17, 24-17.

I hate this matchup for Illinois. Indiana is excellent at home, which is weird, because nobody goes to Indiana football games. Just ask Cari. I think that Illinois' defense gets shredded by Nate Sudfeld, Tevin Coleman, and all the other people you hate because Indiana beat our asses a few weeks ago.

On the other side of the ball, Indiana's defense has been brutal lately, something I fully expect to change against Illinois. The Illini, as we saw last week, are terrible at getting the ball in the end zone and really good at turning the ball over. Indiana prides itself on giving up a ton of yards and praying for turnovers. Perfect!

Prediction: Indiana 45, Illinois 28

Watchability: You could do worse than this one

Nebraska @ Michigan, 3:30 p.m.

I wanted to pick Nebraska so badly. This just seems like one of those games Michigan would lose, right? It's a home game against a meh team that they should beat for all intents and purposes, which is exactly the kind of game that Michigan loses all the time.

However, Nebraska is starting freshman quarterback Tommy Armstrong against the Wolverines. Armstrong has been meh this year -- 41-for-75, 520 yards, 4 TD's, 6 INT's -- and I'll bet that Nebraska gives Michigan a steady dose of Ameer Abdullah, but I can't in good consciousness pick a freshman to go into The Big House and come out with a win unless their name is "Christian Hackenberg" or "Jameis Winston."

Prediction: Michigan 38, Nebraska 21

Watchability: Probably worse than Illinois/Indiana but why not?

BYU @ #24 Wisconsin, 3:30 p.m.

Wisconsin is the most underrated team in America that isn't Baylor. Just think: they got screwed against Arizona State and gave Ohio State everything they could handle, yet they're the #24 team in the country. That's complete balderdash. Know what they need? A STATEMENT GAME!

I think this is the week Wisconsin comes out and opens a gigantic can of whoop ass. Like, an industrial sized can of whoop ass. The kind of whoop ass that Bobby Boucher opened in the Bourbon Bowl. BYU is a nice team -- they're 6-2 with wins against Texas and Boise State -- but Wisconsin is angry, disrespected, and has an entire bag of chips on its shoulder.

Watch for Melvin Gordon and James White to come out and do some sinister shit to a really good BYU rushing defense. I'm calling this game a #BEATEMDOWN right now.

Prediction: Wisconsin 49, BYU 13

Watchability: There will be blood

Enjoy the games, everyone! Go State, Beat the Gophers.


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