Congratulations to our dear friend Ckmneon, who informed me via email that his wife is pregnant!
To quote some episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000, "Wow! I've got great sperm!"
While the fact that his wife is an Ohio State person puts the baby at great risk (think the whole "crack baby" scare thing from the 1980s), we must still celebrate with as many pop culture, country music, and sports references as possible!
First, a picture of Ulysses S. Grant!
Here's a picture of Patton about to piss in the Rhine!
Here's Chesty Puller!
Goodnight, Chesty Puller, wherever you may be,
After you, the Corps will roll, Corps will roll, Corps will rolllllll,
On to victory!
Finally here's a masculine, regal, sultry, sexy, and authoritative Merle Haggard song. Women want the Hag, men want to be the Hag.
And since our friend is about to have a baby, and will therefore no longer ever sleep ever again, here is the Hag again, this time to sing about staying up all night BECAUSE HAHA YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE A BABY AND WILL THEREFORE NEVER SLEEP AGAIN.
Also, his name had better be Joseph Vincent Ck or Joseph Paterno Ck or Merle Paterno Ck or some variation thereof. I will also accept Mario Lemieux Number 66 Paterno Ck.
/fire john butler