Pickin' Nits Will See You Guys This Weekend

Patrick Smith

BLUE-WHITE BLUE-WHITE BLUE-WHITE BLUE-WHITE and other Penn State sports, too

I'd have some long intro here, but screw it, it's Blue-White Weekend. Nothing else in the Penn State community matters. I'll see you all at the Skeller on Saturday night, cool? Cool

Your listening music this week is I'm Shipping Up To Boston by Dropkick Murphys. Duh. Let's get our PSU sprotz on.

Track and Field

  • So GoPSU hates me again. The track team was at the Mt. SAC Relays in Walnut, California this past week, but GoPSU has no write up on it. If someone can point me towards the direction of some info, lemme know so I can write it up. Cool? Cool. luv u guyz.
  • The Week Ahead: The team is all over the place this next week. Some will be at Bucknell for the Bucknell Invitational. Some will be in Starkville for the Big Ten/SEC Challenge against Mississippi State. Some will finish up the Mt. SAC Relays. A ton of stuff going on. My head hurts. CAN'T THEY JUST ENJOY BLUE-WHITE LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE?

Gymnastics

  • The top ranked guys team had the week off. As did the 14th ranked girls team. So...wanna listen to Let It Be from Across the Universe? Because you should. It's wonderful.
  • The Week Ahead: Both teams have NCAA Championships. The ladies are traveling to LA, while the guys are hosting the event at Rec Hall. Quoting my English 215 prof: "Did anyone go over there? It's pretty amazing." So, yeah, stop by this weekend.

Men's Volleyball

  • 14th ranked men's volleyball went to California last week has good news and bad news: The good news is they whooped up on Concordia, 3-1 (25-13, 19-25, 25-22-25-20). Nick Goodell and Aaron Russell both continue to be hotter than Alison Brie, combining for 34 kills. The bad news is they got they asses beat by 4th ranked UC Irvine, 3-0 (25-20, 25-20, 25-14). Nobody on PSU had more than 9 kills. WOOF.
  • The Week Ahead: They finish up the regular season in the South gym of Rec Hall against Rutgers-Newark and NJIT. Yawn. The two are a combined 11-38. I have faith.

Tennis

  • Just like we have no Hope, no Cash and no Jobs, both the men's and women's tennis teams had no wins this week.
  • Both teams fell to Northwestern, 5-2. Both teams won two singles matchups and a doubles matchup. The symmetry here is really weird. Alex Jones has officially declared this a false flag and has been quoted as saying there is a government conspiracy against PSU tennis.
  • Both teams also got they asses beat by Illinois *shakes fist* BECKMAN!!!!! The ladies lost, 5-2, again taking two singles matchups and a doubles contest. The guys lost, 7-0. The didn't win once. Not exactly the best week for Penn State tennis
  • The Week Ahead: Michigan and Michigan State. It's working a little differently this time, as one match is at home, the other on the road. The guys go home/away, the ladies go away/home. My head just exploded.

Golf

  • The women had the week off. The guys came in 9th at the Hawkeye Taylor Made Invitational, shooting a combined +35 on the weekend. The best finisher was Anthony DeGol, who finished at +4 despite a two stroke penalty for not dropping his ball in the pro....oh, wait, that was Tiger Woods, my bad. He did get a +4 though.
  • The Week Ahead: The men are hosting the Rutherford Intercollegiate, while the ladies go to the Lady Buckeye tournament in Columbus. Spending Blue-White at OSU? *vomits everywhere*

Lax

  • The 9th ranked men won a battle with Towson, 10-8, on the team's first live BTN game EVAH. TJ Sanders had five goals. Sanders is like Maggie Lucas, he is better at his sport than you are and it's not even close.
  • Meanwhile, the 6th ranked women reached the highest spot on the polls in team history and won both games this week. They won a 14-12 nail-biter against Ohio State (Maggie McCormick led the way with five goals and pitched in an assist), before letting Lafayette know they shit's weak, 19-10 (five ladies had at least three goals, with Molly Fernandez's four goals leading the way).
  • The Week Ahead: The ladies have one game against 19th ranked Johns Hopkins. The guys have one game against Delaware in the "Pat Devlin Bowl."

Softball

  • Softball went 1-4 against Ohio State and Purdue, but at least they were competitive in three of those games, right? GRASPING FOR STRAWS.
  • Against Ohio State, they got swept, losing 2-0, 16-7 and 4-3. Against Purdue, they won 8-4 and lost 12-3. I...um...guess that's something? Hey, at least Cassidy Bell hit her 17th homer, giving her PSU's single season record. So, go Cassidy!
  • The Week Ahead: Again, five games. Three against Northwestern and two against Kent State. We believe in you, ladies. We believe.

Baseball

  • The team went winless in their weekend series against Michigan (we'll get to that in a second), but won once this week against Bucknell in extras! WOOHOO! SUCK IT, ANDREW ANDREYCHIK (kid I know who pitches for Bucknell, and when I know someone on the opposing team I'm required to bust their balls). PSU won, 7-6, on a walk-off single in the 12th by Elliot Searer.
  • Alright, to sum up the Michigan series, here's this week's "Poetry With Polak." TAKE IT AWAY NICK:

"We faced off with Michigan, three games in the Big Ten

We came away thinking about what could have been

We didn't win one

And it wasn't much fun

Are we trying for winless in conference again?"

  • The Week Ahead: Five home games -- three against Iowa, one against La Salle (which is French for "The Salle") and one against Mount St. Mary's. Seriously, all of them are at home and you should go to at least one of them if you love your school/baseball with metal bats.

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