Pickin' Nits Isn't Going to Wrestlemania

Michael N. Todaro

Something that never had a chance at happening isn't happening. Plus everything else in BSD's weekly non-revenue roundup.

Quick update on the #GetBillAdamDevonAndAdamIfHeCanGetAFlightFromTexas2Wrestlemania front: the mothership never emailed me back, and since Mania is this Sunday, it's safe to assume we aren't going. Sad BSD writers has sad.

With that in mind, your easy listening music while your read is Edge's entrance music from 2004 up until he was forced to retire. One day, we'll do BSD Entrance Theme Power Rankings, which will be second only to last week's boy band debate in terms of "most important things ever on this site." Let's get to the important stuff.

Track and Field

  • Track and Field began their outdoor season with the women ranked 20th and the men ranked 21st. The teams started their season at Stanford for the Stanford Invitational, where they sent a couple of distance runners to, well, run.
  • GUY'S RESULTS: Matt Fisher, 10th, men's 5,000 meter run section 2. Tyler Corkedale, 15th, men's 5,000 meter run section 3. Nick Scarpello, 7th, men's 5,000 meter run section 4.
  • GAL'S RESULTS: Abbie Benson, 14th, women's 3,000 meter steeplechase section 2. Natalie Bower, 8th, women's 5,000 meter run section 2. Tori Gerlach, 16th, women's 5,000 meter run section 3. Emily Giannotti, 11th, women's 10,000 meter run section 2.
  • The Week Ahead: Track is forced to go to Tuscaloosa for the Alabama Invitational. There are 5:2 odds Saban will try to recruit the fastest person from PSU's team, even though Bama football is oversigned through 2027.

Gymnastics

  • Week off, so I'll take this space to let you know that DX's reunion at Raw 1,000 was awesome and you should watch it immediately and giggle.
  • The Week Ahead: The 14th ranked women's team has NCAA Regionals in Norman, Oklahoma, while the top ranked men's squad heads to Minneapolis for the Big Ten Championships. It's kind of a big week for both teams. But you already know that.

Swimming and Diving

  • The 24th ranked women's SWIMMIN' POOL-ers are done for the season. The 24th ranked men are also done: they had NCAA's in Indianapolis, where they came in 20th place. Results? Ok: 400 medley relay (Nate Savoy, James Wilson, Sean Grier, John Hauser) came in 8th, 200 yard medley relay (Savoy, Wilson, Grier, Shane Austin) came in 6th, Savoy came in 14th in the 100 backstroke and 16th in the 200 yard backstroke.
  • The Week Ahead: I'm posting "When It's Over" by Sugar Ray, because the season is now over. PAYCE GUYS.

Men's Volleyball

  • The 12th ranked men's volleyball went 2-0 last weekend, beating Princeton and George Mason. They've responded to their three-game losing streak with a three-game winning streak. WE ARE NITTANY LIONS AND WE RESPOND TO ADVERSITY.
  • Aaron Russell went HAM this weekend, racking up 18 kills in the team's 3-1 (20-25, 25-23, 25-18, 25-20) win over Princeton and 17 kills in their 3-2 (25-23, 17-25, 19-25, 27-25, 15-10) win over George Mason. Of course, he played so well because he has a serious case of little brother syndrome. Or because he's really good at volleyball. That too.
  • The Week Ahead: Just one game against something called Lees-McRae. I'm doing PBP for it somewhere. STAY TUNED.

Tennis

  • 30th ranked women's tennis went 1-1 over the weekend, wiping the floor with lowly Iowa, 6-1, before getting whooped by 12th ranked #NEBRASKETENNIS, 5-1, (it doesn't work as well as #NEBRASKETBALL, I know). They managed to win all but one matchup against Iowa. Against Nebraska, they won two of the six singles matches and one of the three doubles matches. I guess Nebraska caused a *CSI Miami sunglasses* racket. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH.
  • The men's team also went 1-1 over the weekend, and they too beat Iowa (only this time by a score of 4-3) and lost to Nebraska (also by a score of 4-3). The guys took four of six individual matches against the Hawkeyes and one of the three doubles matches. They manages to split the six individual matches against Nebraska, but were swept in the doubles. Oops.
  • The Week Ahead: Minnesota and Wisconsin. The men get to stay at PSU, the women have to go to Minnesota and Wisconsin, which is just the most unfortunate thing ever.

Golf

  • Men's golf? WEEK OFF.
  • Women's golf? They had the Pinehurst Challenge in South Carolina, where they came in 3rd out of 19th behind only Richmond and College of Charleston. Three Nits tied for 8th overall: Christina Vosters, Elyse Archambault and Katlyn Elliott, all of whom shot a +9 on the tournament.
  • The Week Ahead: The women have a few weeks off to play with Bubba Watson's sicknasty hovercraft golf cart. The guys have the Hawkeye Taylor Made Invitational in Iowa City. But they don't get to play with that hovercraft golf cart, which is about the coolest damn thing I've ever seen.

Lax

  • 16th ranked men's lax beat Villanova last week, 7-6. I swear to God, it says they were able to "grind out" the win. BROS. ON YOUR GRIND IN THIS JAWN. Tommy Lax netted a hat trick, Shane Sturgis chipped in three assists and Austin Kaut went all Sam "Stonewall" Dullard with 16 saves.
  • The 7th ranked Lady Laxers pulled off a massive upset over #2 Florida, 16-11. Someone who knows a lot more about women's lacrosse told me this is one of the five biggest wins in program history, which is awesome. Tatum Coffey led the way with four goals and an assist.
  • The Week Ahead: Men's lax takes on Drexel. Bleh. The ladies have a much more formidable task, taking on #3 Northwestern. If Michael Wilbon hasn't told you 500 times by now, they have won seven of the last eight national titles, so they're kinda good.

Softball

  • The ladies had five games against the two Michigan schools and lost all five of them by an average of 5.8 runs per game. Yikes.
  • In their three games against Michigan, the ladies lost 7-4, 18-4 and 9-6. Not exactly the best way to start off your home opener. There weren't many highlights aside from Alyssa Sovereign's 3 for 4 performance in the first game of the trifecta.
  • The ladies didn't do much beter against Sparty, losing 4-1 and then 7-1. Their starter in game one, Macy Jones, played in the outfield in game two. I don't get softball sometimes.
  • The Week Ahead: Softball has six chances to win this week: a three game series at Indiana, one game at home against St. Francis and two games at Pitt. C'mon ladies. You can do it.

Baseball

  • Baseball continues to really, really struggle, losing all three of their games against Purdue and once against Kent State. They're currently sporting a shiny 11-game losing streak. *vomits*
  • The sweep against Purdue came by way of a 6-1 loss, a 5-4 loss and a 7-5 loss. Two performances stick out: Ryky Smith went 3 for 4 with two runs in the second game, and Greg Welsh threw down a line of 8 IP, 9 H, 7 R (3 ER), 3 BB's, 11 K's in the last game of the series.
  • Kent State went off on the Nits, winning 10-0. They threw a one hitter. It was ugly. I didn't even go and I thought it was ugly. Here's Matisyahu singing "One Day" to cheer you up/give you optimism, baseball team.
  • The Week Ahead: Five games for the baseballers, highlighted by a three game weekend series against Wright State. They also have individual games against Kent State and Bucknell. All of them are at home. Go cheer for them. It'll make you feel good about yourself.

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