Pickin' Nits Is In The Home Stretch

USA TODAY Sports

We're running out of sports. It sucks.

Pickin' Nits only has a few weeks left, as we're down to the final five non-revenue sports left this year. Track and Field, Women's Golf, Lax, Softball, Baseball. A prestigious group, if I say so myself.

For that reason, your listening music is going to start being songs about things coming to an end. Naturally, that means your listening music this week is going to be the greatest song of all time: "Closing Time" by Semisonic. There are two kinds of people on Earth, those who admit they love that song, and liars. Let's proceed.

Track and Field

  • I tried getting you guys the results for this past week's Jim Thorpe Open, which was hosted at PSU and was the Nittany Lions' only home match of the outdoor season. Then, in a beautiful moment of GoPSUSports-ness, this happened. A little SAT moment: GoPSU is to me what BSD apparently is to Thank You Terry. The only difference is GoPSU actually hates me and we don't actually hate Thank You Terry.
  • Luckily, PSU Alum/Onward State Dodgeball God/Former PSU Football Player/Twitter King Kyle Lucas posted a brief recap on GoPSU, where we learned high jumper John Henderson broke the school record en route to winning the high jump, Will Barr won the discus and hammer throw, Darrell Hill and Melissa Kurzdorfer both won the shot put and Mahagony Jones, Dynasty McGee, Bernard Bennett-Green and Sancho Barrett all won their track events.
  • The Week Ahead: Big Ten Outdoor Championships at that school in Ohio whose mascot is a nut. You should SPRINT to your computer to keep yourself updated! *cries in a corner*

Women's Golf

  • Men's golf is done. All that's left is women's golf...........who had this week off. So, um, here's my favorite sports related Youtube video: Brandon Roy scoring 18 points against Dallas in the playoffs in 2011.
  • The Week Ahead: NCAA Regionals at Auburn. I know there is a massive "Gene Chizik/Cam Newton" joke staring me right in the face right now, but I'm just gonna take the high road and not make one. Unless someone gives me $200,000 and the next best offer is to make a Mississippi State joke for $180,000.

Lax

  • A very un-chill week for both lacrosse teams, as both lost by one goal in their conference championship games. Oof.
  • The 13th ranked men's team fell in the finals to Towson, 11-10. TJ Sanders continues to be the best f'ing freshman in the country (that I've heard of), racking up his ninth hat trick of the season. However, Towson scored five unanswered goals, a run that went from the 6:59 mark in the 2nd period to the 13:19 mark of the 4th period. Now, I'm no lacrosse coach, but I did play for one year in middle school, and I can tell you that's not good.
  • The 7th ranked women's team suffered almost the exact same fate, falling to Northwestern, 9-8 in OT. Seeing as how PSU lost to NW earlier this year 11-3, I say that's improvement. Kelly Lechner had a hat trick to lead the ladies, and PSU scored the last three goals of the match to force overtime. Good job, good effort, ladies.
  • The Week Ahead: Tourney time! Except this time it's the NCAA Tourney! Both teams have weekend games in Happy Valley this weekend, with the men taking on Yale in the first round, while the women battle with Canisius (the women, if they win, would have a second match at home on Sunday against either UMass or UConn). The full men's bracket can be found here, while the full women's bracket can be found here.

Softball

  • PSU wrapped up their regular season last week against 14th ranked #NEBRASKET(soft)BALL at home, going 1-2 (1-3, 3-2, 2-0). Macy Jones pitched well in her two outings, but lost both of them. Marissa Diescher got her first win of the season, throwing five innings in relief of Jordan Wheatley. As for Cassidy Bell, not only did she not go yikkity, but she went 0-7 over the weekend. Let's move on.
  • TOURNEY TIME! The Big Ten Tournament is in Lincoln, Nebraska this weekend. PSU had their first game of the tournament against Chef Illini, winning 5-2. Bell went 3-3 with a homer, an RBI and three runs. Macy Jones threw a complete game with 6H, 2 ER, 4 BB's and 6 K's.
  • The Week Ahead: More tourney action. Friday, they take on Minnesota, who they have yet to play this year. Semifinals are on Saturday, finals on Sunday. Henry Rowengartner's mom is available to pitch, if needed.

Baseball

  • No more "Poetry With Polak," as that would be a semi-conflict of interest (NOTE: Nick was recruited by me, so feel free to hate him, he's overly protective of Russell Wilson, if that helps). BUT THE BASEBALL GOES ON.
  • Baseball had a weekend series against Minnesota, where in the most PSU baseball thing ever, they lost the first two games badly and won a close game in extras to close out the series. SCOREBOARD: 2-11, 3-7, 4-3. Nothing really noteworthy happened, aside from the bullpen for PSU not allowing a run over 12 2/3 innings of action. So. That's nice.
  • In the team's final non-conference game of the season, Akron waxed Penn State, 11-2. Fun note from this: Penn State's pitchers had three earned runs, and the team committed four errors. And by "fun note" I mean "depressing, sobering fact that shows Penn State baseball is horrible."
  • The Week Ahead: A three game series against Illinois in their final road series of the season. Fun prop bet that I'm now making up: will Penn State have more runs or errors in this series? If you're interested in gambling on something trivial, this is the thing for you! Also, you probably have a gambling problem

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