So, like most of us, I've lovingly watched football for all of my life but never played it.
Let's cut right to the chase. Think about it. You're a football player for Big Time Program State in a rivalry game against Big Time Program U. Presuming that you don't have time during the half to take a crap, how do you take a crap? You can't take a crap during the game when you're playing. And I guess maybe you could use the toilet when you're not on the field, but wouldn't that be embarrassing? I mean, your coach would probably be mad too.
So I simply don't understand how we football fans have never questioned this most unrefined and sad part of our favorite sport. Baseball has time for poop time because no one cares about baseball. Soccer doesn't need it because they're tiny, malnourished people from uncivilized foreign countries and so they don't eat enough to have bowel movements. Hockey players are Canadian and Finnish. NASCAR is crap. Basketball players, well, I mean, maybe they have the same problem.
Plus all of that padding and stuff. It must be awkward to take it all off if only to take a crap.
And what about urinating? Perhaps not as serious a problem, but still a problem.
Don't tell me you've never thought of this very important question.